5 Communication Mistakes You May Be Making: #52 Save Your Marriage Podcast

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Don't make these communication mistakes in your marriage!Is communication an issue in your marriage?  Do you have communication problems, but are not sure how to solve them — or even what they are?

Many people believe that there marriage problems are communication problems.  I disagree.  I believe they are actually perception problems.

But that doesn’t mean there are no communication problems.  In fact, communication problems can end up frustrating anyone — and they can add to problems you are already having!

In this podcast, I cover 5 very common communication mistakes.  You are likely to be making at least one (and most people make at least 3).  Which mistake is your issue?

Let me know which one hits home for you!  Leave a comment in the area below.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
  • Peggy

    Thank you Dr. Baucom for all your insights. I have listened to nearly all of your podcasts and get something out of every one of them. What I have not been able to find though, is help with dealing with a very passive/aggressive husband who had a 4 year emotional affair which was, as he put it, intended to become a physical affair. It’s been 4 years now and I will accept that I’ve done everything wrong in my way of dealing with him, but I can’t seem to break through the PA to get to the true issues. I’m at the extremely resentful and hopeless stage now. All the therapists that I’ve read that have discussed being in a relationship with a PA person has said, basically, get out. Do you have any insight into this issue? If so, I would truly love to hear your opinion and your advise as to how I can deal with my husband in a positive way and possibly get what I need to help me heal from my heartbreak. Thank You, Peggy

  • ajt

    I have a wife of 13 years who is also been diagnosed as passive aggressive in our counseling sessions yet there seems to be little advivce to help with that. Could you please do a podcast on passive aggressive spouses? Thank you! Appreciate your work!

  • DEBBIE

    I AM DEFINETLY CLAIMING THE “FLOODING “,WITHLODNG AND “BEING INDIRECT” PROCESSES OF THE 5 ERRORS OF COMMUNICATION.

    BUT I NEED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING REGARDING THE “FLOODING” AND “WITHOLDING” PROCESS AS HOW IT IS IN MY LIFE.

    I HAVE BEEN 110% OPEN ABOUT MY ENTIRE PAST LIFE EXPERIENCES WITH MY PARTNER..

    ONLY TO HAVE HIM “USE” MY HURTFUL PAST EXPERIENCES AND BRING THEM UP TO ME WHEN WE HAVE A DISAGREEMENT.

    ALBEIT: “WITHOLDING”PROCESS KICKS IN NOW.DUE TO THE FACT I DO NOT LIKE HAVING MY HONESTY ABOUT MY PAST BEING BROUGHT UP AGAIN IN HEATED TIMES TO HURT ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

    THIS BEING SAID, I HAVE BROUGHT THIS TO HIS ATTENTION AND WE BOTH HAVE MADE AN AGREEMENT HE WOULD STOP DOING THIS.

    UNFORTUNETLY IT CONTINUES…

    I AM ALSO “INDIRECT” WITH HIM WHEN ASKED QUESTIONS BY HIM , NOT BECAUSE I HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG …. JUST THAT I AM IN FEAR OF BEING ACCUSED I HAVE AND THEN HE GOES INTO HIS “INTERREGATION “MODE.
    BY THE WAYHE IS A RETIRED CORRECTIONAL OFFICER..
    ANY SUGGESTIONS????
    HELP !!!!

  • Julie Nguyen

    Dr Baucom,
    Thanks for your info. I always feel that our biggest problem is communication. Your insight for sure will help us in making baby step to improve our communication skill. I can’t wait to uncover the secret to achieve it. God bless you and your work in saving marriages.

  • B

    Yeah — I would love a podcast on passive aggressive behavior. I’ve been struggling with my wife for years and don’t know if I can keep our family together much longer, although mastering my own attitude and behavior has helped a lot recently.

  • Janna

    So what do you do if your mid life crisis spouse gives you an
    ultimatum? What can you do if you have made all the mistakes already and are basically trying to do damage control from over reaction and lack of understanding how these things play out?

    If you have these questions listed in some of your previous pod casts
    just let me know which ones to listen to.
    Thanks.

  • Balancing Act

    Wow – this really spoke to me- I am indirect- but not to blame the other person, if I don’t say what I want, then it can always just me “my problem” ( I came from a get-over-your-own-problems childhood) and I can just “wait” for the other person to tell me what they want, and how could anyone ever get bored with getting what they want all the time??? (FYI this does not work on anyone who loves you – took me 15 years to figure it out – but people who love you want to know how to please you – drives them nuts- and maybe makes them feel inadequate??? when you wont tell them want you want / need / like) – so before this podcast I had invited my husband out for coffee tomorrow somewhere- sometime- whatever works for him – the reply IDK (my least three favorite letters!) After listening to the podcast- I apologized for the wishy-washy invitation, named a place and a time and upgraded from coffee to lunch at a restaurant we both enjoy that is not too fancy- and we now have a date for tomorrow. Building the connection is like one man and a stack of bricks making the pyramid, there is so much to tackle, but if our lack of connection can be changed by things I can do differently, then we have so much hope for this marriage- at least I do- his will come… The funny part is – I know that I won’t always get just what I want by telling him, but I am so tremendously pleased that I got this one, how can that not color my entire mood tomorrow???