Monthly Archives :

February 2017

Action versus Distraction
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Taking Action or is it Distraction?A while back, I was talking with someone who was struggling with his marriage.  I made a couple of suggestions.  He pushed back.  He said, “It’s not like I’m not doing anything!”

“Great,” I said, “Tell me what you are doing.”

“I’ve read some articles and stuff.  I did some research. . . ”

He continued on for a few minutes.  But I quickly realized my friend had made a crucial mistake.  He had confused distraction with action.  He was worried about his marriage, sure.  But he was distracted.  His distraction was confused with action.

Nothing was happening.

When we talked again, a few months later, his wife had left.  He told me he “did everything he could.”

I asked what that was.  I suspected.  I was right.  He spent the time in distraction.  In the end, there was no action.

Are you making the same mistake?

I discuss the distractions — and the actions — in this week’s podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
This ISN’T A Plan
You NEED A Plan
Why Marriages Get Into Trouble
The System to Save Your Marriage

Fooling Ourselves. . .
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

FoolingOurselvesWe don’t mean to, but we do.  We fool ourselves.  Yep, humans can be dishonest with others, but we can also be dishonest with ourselves.  In fact, we do it every day.

It’s bad enough we can be dishonest with others.  But ourselves?  Yep.  And it can sure get in the way of saving your marriage.

Usually, when we are fooling ourselves, we relieve ourselves of responsibility.  And if it isn’t our responsibility, what can we do?  (Or so we tell ourselves.)

Let’s talk about several ways we are dishonest with ourselves. . . and how to change that!

HELPFUL RESOURCES:
Why to Save a Marriage
You Need a Plan
Save The Marriage System

Caught In Control
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Caught In Control:  Control and marriage.Pretty much every day, I hear from someone telling me about a controlling marriage situation.  Either they are controlling or they are being controlled.  Either way, the underlying dynamics are the same.

Control is a hallmark of dysfunctional relationships.  It takes two to play the game, though — the controller and the controlled.

This week, I highlight this particular dysfunction and provide a way through, whether you are controlling or being controlled.

Is your marriage caught in control?  Are you ready to break the pattern and find a healthy way of relating?  Listen to this week’s podcast for help.

RELATED RESOURCES:
What A Marriage SHOULD Be About
Communication Is Not The Issue
Save The Marriage System