Fighting Versus Solving: Using Conflict

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Are you Fighting or Solving?Do you find yourself fighting and fighting, but never making progress?  Maybe you even look back and make the painful discovery:  you are just repeating the same argument.

If so, you aren’t using conflict to get anywhere.  You are just trying to win.

Conflict is better used when it moves you toward progress.  It can serve to solve.

Or it can serve to wound.

Many times, I have heard the same statement: “I don’t want to argue about this anymore,” “I don’t want to fight anymore.”  Both come from a realization that nothing is happening in the fight.  No solution, no progress.  Nothing but hurtful conflict.

Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, if a couple can’t make the shift, the wounds and hurts add up.  Until one or the other (or both) call it quits.  They give up, tired of the conflict.  Some leave.  Others stay, but refuse to communicate.

Either way, the connection suffers.

It doesn’t have to be that way.  Conflict can serve to move you toward a better relationship.  But only when you use it to solve.

Listen to the audio training below to learn how.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.