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Posts Tagged :

boundaries

Disrespect and Boundaries
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Disrespect, boundaries, marriage, and how you set boundaries with a spouse.“A” has been trying to set boundaries with her husband.  Trying to get the treatment she deserves.  Trying to get the relationship to a healthy spot.

But then, her spouse throws a little shade her way… rolling eyes, using a demeaning tone.  What should she do to set a boundary on that?, she asks.

During the last few episodes of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I’ve been tackling your questions — questions submitted by listeners.  (If you have a question for consideration, email it to me HERE.)

In this case, A has a good hold on what to do when, say, her spouse raises his voice or calls her names.  But what about those less-clear actions — using a “you’re so stupid” tone (note that this requires you to read a tone… not always a good thing to try).

Sometimes, boundaries are clear.  You know how to set them.  I even have a whole chapter on it in the primary module of Save The Marriage System.

But when it is more subtle… a little harder to pin down.  And a little harder to call someone on.  What about that?

I cover it in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries and Control
Healing Hurt
Expectations and Agreements
Conflict
Save The Marriage System

 

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Boundaries Protect A Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Boundaries protect a marriage: Immutable Law Of Marriage. First line of an email last week:”I knew we were disconnected, but how did this happen?”

The level of connection in any marriage is likely to wax and wane.  You will feel closer and more distant to your spouse to varying degrees over the lifetime of your marriage.

And no, that does not mean it is a slow d0wnhill slide to disconnection.  There will be times when you just don’t feel it, and times when you can’t believe how connected you feel.

(My guess, if you are listening to this podcast, is that you are on the downswing of connection.  If that is not the case, good for you in being proactive!  But trust me, there will be those moments. . . .)

When the level of disconnection is higher, the relationship is at a higher risk.  The risk may be for affairs or unhealthy distractions.  Unless there are clear boundaries.

Boundaries protect a marriage.  But what’s a boundary?  How do you set them?  Glad you asked.  I discuss those issues in this week’s podcast episode.  Take a listen below.

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE
#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)
#3 We ALL Have Fear
#4 There Is NO Pause
#5 Connection Is The Lifeblood
#6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress
#7 Love Is What You Do
#8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse
#9 You Have To Show Up
#10 Civility and Respect Is A Choice
#11 Trust Is A Gift
#12 Forgiveness Is Not A Blank Check

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11 Things Happy Couples Do Differently: Companionship (part 3)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Happy couples are no different than unhappy couples.  They have similar backgrounds, same jobs, same income levels, and same interests.

But they do some things differently.  And those differences in how they do conflict, connection, and companionship, make all the difference.

Changes in action lead to changes in trajectory.  That leads to changes in outcome.

But what if you could extrapolate those differences, and add them into YOUR relationship.

Well, for the past three episodes, that is what we have been doing.

In the first episode, we looked at how happy couples do conflict differently.

In the second episode, we looked at how happy couples connect with each other differently.

In this week’s episode, we turn to how happy couples treat each other differently, as individuals.  This is about how they treasure their companion and protect their relationship.

Successful couples see themselves as a team, a unit, a WE (as I call it).  But that WE is made up of two individuals.  Those two individuals create the strongest WE when they are strong, themselves.  When they develop and grow, the bring that growth and energy into the relationship.

More than that, happy couples create and maintain boundaries around their relationship.  They protect and treasure the relationship.  They support and treasure each other.

Learn how happy couples treat their companionship in this week’s podcast episode.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Being a WE
Working On Yourself
Being Your Spouse’s #1 Fan
Come Together or Fall Apart
Save The Marriage System

 

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Boundaries For You And Your Relationship: #33 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Do you know your boundaries?  Do you know the boundaries of your relationship?

Boundaries mark how you expect others to treat you.  It is a way of keeping yourself safe — and relationship boundaries keep your relationship safe.

Set your boundaries, save your marriage.I think about them like a fence.  If you build a fence in your backyard, you are letting others know where your property ends.

Can people cross over the fence?  Absolutely!  But at least you have been clear about it, and you can ask them to leave.  You can also invite them in.  They are not walls, keeping everyone away.

Most people have a difficult time making boundaries, and many do not even know they have boundaries.

Discover the 5 truths of boundaries and the 4 step process to set your own boundaries.

Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments area below.

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Can Your Marriage Be Saved?: Two Measurements And What To Do: Save The Marriage Podcast 16
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Can your marriage be saved? Two measurements you need.Can your marriage be saved?  Let’s look at a couple of measurements that will help you determine how difficult it may be.

Do you know about boundaries and standards?  Many people confuse the two, and if you do, you can cause problems in your relationship.

Let’s talk about boundaries and how to set them.  And let’s talk about standards.  Can you raise your standards?  Find out why you MUST know the difference between your standards and your boundaries.

If you want to know how to save your marriage, you must understand the variables in your marriage and what you can do to gain control of your life situation.

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