Posts Tagged :

courage

Why It Matters: The Importance of Your Efforts To Save Your Marriage
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Why your efforts to save your marriage are so important.  Why you are doing it, and why it matters.It matters.  Your efforts to save your marriage.  They matter.  Your desire to work things through, to find a better way for your relationship.  It matters.

When you are in the midst of the struggle, it can feel horrible.  You can get frustrated and discouraged, forget the reasons why you are doing it, and be ready to throw your hands up in the air in defeat.

Before you do that, let me tell you:  What you are doing, IT MATTERS!

Every single day, I watch as people fight through the hurt and pain, the emotions and discouragement, to keep on working on a hurting relationship.  I am in awe of that effort.  It is truly courageous.

We live in a world of “disposables.”  People easily discard anything.  Including marriages.  They fail to see the hurt, the harm that is caused by pushing it aside.  They think they are taking the better, easier way.  Instead, they are buying into the disposable culture — only to see the destruction in hindsight.

But you.  You have chosen to stand up to that and say, “I want to save this.”  It won’t be easy, but it is noble.

Let me tell you why it matters, why this is so important, in this week’s podcast.

Don’t Wait For Confidence. . .
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Don't wait for confidence.  Take the first step and confidence will follow.Several times a week, I get an email or a phone call with the same question, “I want to save my marriage, but can I do it?  I don’t want to try unless I know I can.”

In other words, “I don’t have confidence, and until I do, I don’t want to take action.”

I consistently answer the same way:  “Confidence is the wrong place to start.  Confidence is not the starting point.

Fear grips everyone.  Here and there, we all find ourselves caught by fear, seemingly unable to move, feeling unable to act.

If you know that feeling, I want to let you in on a little secret:  confidence is NOT the starting point.  It is part of a cycle.  But waiting for confidence will be a long wait — it may never come.  Unless you decide to take action, follow the cycle, and get to the point of confidence.

So, what are the steps toward confidence?  Listen to learn the “confidence cycle,” and why NOT to wait for it to get started!