In fact, marriage therapy has a dismal track record!  At least 50% of couples who go to marital therapy still divorce (higher than the general population), and only 10 to 15% report any positive benefit!

Learn the truth in this video.

My belief is that you can STILL save your marriage, but let me tell you more about that in this video.

We examine that question in this video.  The answers just might surprise you!

We explore this question in this video.

So, watch today’s video to help you decide if you can save your marriage.

I wish I had a crystal ball and could tell Gina.  Her husband had started legal proceedings, but she wanted to stop the divorce.  She wanted two things from me.  First, she wanted marriage advice, but she also wanted to know if it was even possible to save her marriage.

The thing is, sometimes I see marriages that I think “there is no way this marriage will be saved,” but it survives!  But sometimes, I can see no real reason why the marriage can not be saved, and the divorce can’t be stopped.  The tough part of this is that there is another person who can still choose to act, no matter what one person might do.

So I asked Gina to tell me more about her marriage, trying to help answer the question of “can my marriage be saved.”  Gina told me that there had been unfaithfulness.  She also told me they were separated.  Then she told me that there had been no intimacy in over 6 years.  Then she added that they had separate finances.  And then she continued to tell me more and more division points in their relationship.

And that is when I know that we have a real struggle on our hands.  I guess it should be self-apparent, but the more issues there are in the way, the more points of separation, the harder it is to pull it back together again.  Sometimes, the shattering is just too great.

But Gina was ready for the tough times!

She had decided, when she asked the question, “can this marriage be saved?” that my answer did not matter.  As she told me in the midst of our discussion, “I WILL save my marriage.”  There was some real spunk there!

I warned Gina that her desire to save it might waver.  I suggested that she right down her commitment to try and save her marriage, and to make a list of why she was doing it.  The list would serve her well when she had doubts.  It gave her an opportunity to remind herself about why she was doing what she was doing.

I tried to provide the marriage advice she needed to save her marriage, if it were possible.  I don’t know if she can save her marriage.  I do know this:   if she does not try, there is no hope!  At the end, regardless of the outcome, she can look in the mirror and say “I did all I could to save my marriage and stop a divorce!”

Bravo, Gina!

Then, in the midst of the story, were two different scenes.  In both, a couple was sitting on the front stoop of their house, arm in arm.  Except there was no home behind them.  Only a mess where their life had been.

I tried to find a picture of that scene, but couldn’t.  I did find a picture of a couple, though, surrounded by destruction in each others’ arms.

In the midst of a disaster, these are scenes of people doing what successful couples do.  They pull together.  They find love and support from each other as they try to move through the circumstances.

You either come together as a couple, or life will pull you apart.

Years back, we were on vacation, and the air conditioner in our vacation spot went out.  We were trouble-shooting some of the repairs, and I had removed a grill cover to the air filter in the floor.  The filter was still in place.

I was talking on the phone, trying to get the problem resolved.  I wasn’t noticing that I had left the grill off or that my young daughter was toddling toward the opening.

She stepped onto the air filter and it collapsed.  My wife jumped toward her, and I dropped the phone and moved to her.  When we both grabbed, all that was still above the hole was a foot and hand.

We pulled her to safety, realizing the next stop was the whirring blades of the fan, which had sucked her socks right off.

After the moments of confusion calmed, both my wife and I began to question/blame each other for not watching/not covering.  Point is, we pointed fingers.

But then my wife noted that we had lots more situations like this headed our way.  Did we want to fight against each other or pull together?

I have noticed that married couples have ample opportunities to either stand together or be in opposition.  Standing together, that is the goal.

One piece of the puzzle of how to save your marriage is to stand together.  Make a commitment to face the challenges of life on the same team, supporting and coming together.

Let’s remember to keep those in the path of the recent storm and so many of life’s storms in our thoughts and prayers.  My hope is they continue to stand together.