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July 2005

Can A Marriage Be Saved By One Person?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

One of the most frequent questions I am asked is this: Can a marriage really be saved by only one? The answer is, ultimately, no.

However, the answer is much more complicated than that. While it takes two to make a successful marriage, only one can tear it down. But that said, marriage is an interplay (almost a dance) between two people. If one changes the steps, the other has to change his or her steps.

So it is possible to, by yourself, profoundly affect the relationship, drawing the other person in, and ultimately saving the relationship. You cannot manipulate, force, or somehow trick the other into staying. But you can fundamentally shift the relationship, which causes the other person to decide to stay and improve the relationship.