What’s The Problem?https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
People often ask me: why do we have so many problems in marriage? From my perspective, it seems that a great deal of the problem comes from two directions.
1) We are raised to take care of ourselves. We are raised to be independent people, unaffected by those around us. Sometimes, the training doesn’t work, and we become people desperate for connection. We live at the extremes: independence or over-dependence. The best advice for marriages is interdependence. Relationships are helped when people are interdependent. In other words, both bring something to the table and add to the other, while still being distinct.
2) Culture plays against marriage. Listen to the songs, watch the TV and movies. We are surrounded by poor images of marriage. In fact, the dominant theme is having affairs and having casual sex. Neither are very healthy and helpful for marriage.
So, the roots are there, and then exacerbated by what we bring to the table. Marriage advice wants to make it some deep fault of each individual, but that is just the flavoring on the steak, not the meat of the issue.
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Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.