Monthly Archives :

July 2006

Quick-Start Guide Premiers in I-Pac
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

An ebook wasn’t enough. It was just not possible to cover all the bases. So, I tried to think of what to do to save even more marriages. Now, I think we have the best solution. We now offer the Save The Marriage I-Pac. My idea is that an I-Pac is an Informational Package. It is the complete solution!

First, we started with the ebook. After all, it has been effective for more than 41,000 couples. But we went several steps further. I added a special document, the Top 5 Mistakes. This document describes the 5 most common mistakes people make when a spouse wants out of a marriage.

Understand, these mistakes can make the difference between a marriage that can be salvaged, and one that is lost. Not huge mistakes, but a misstep at the wrong time, and you lose too much ground.

That still wasn’t enough, so we added another important document: The Quick-Start Guide. This guide will quickly get people on the path to saving their marriage. It helps someone assess where the relationship is (there are 8 stages outlined), and what to do to turn each stage around. Each stage requires a different approach, and this document shows the path.

I’m very excited about this information! I’ve used it with some consultation clients, and have been blown away with the results! I think this provides a whole other layer of effectiveness.

Then, to tie it all together, I have decided that for the time being, each person who purchases the I-Pac will receive an email consultation with me. Ask a question, get a direct response. Until I am overwhelmed with the emails, I’ll keep this up.

I think the email consultation has the capacity of tying it all together, since it allows each person to take the material and apply it to the particulars of his or her marriage. Information, carefully targeted, and we will save even more marriages!

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.

The Promise Is To Love, Not To Be In Love
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

OK, every now and then, I write in response to people who email me. It is usually after I hear the same question over and over in a short amount of time. Today is one of those days. In fact, just this morning, I heard from someone with whom I have offered consultation. She stated that her husband’s feelings had changed for her, and she knew that meant that she needed to move on.

I strongly disagreed with her perspective. This idea that “I am not in love with you anymore” means the marriage is over, is one of the most destructive myths of marriage. It is inaccurate and unfair to reality.

You see, when most people marry, they promise to love and cherish each other. Unless they did a major re-write of their marriage vows, they did not promise to be “in love” with each other the rest of their lives. But then, when the feeling isn’t there, that is the promise they seem to fall back on.

Love is an action verb. That is what the promise is about. In essence, the vow is “I promise to act in loving ways toward you and to treat you as something I cherish, I treat you as a treasure.” Now that captures the essence of marriage!

Emotions and feelings come and go, sometimes completely out of our control. But the choice, the promise to act loving, that is a different matter. I can make a conscious choice to act loving, even if I don’t have feelings prompting me. When people begin to orient their marriage around being loving and treasuring the other, as a conscious choice, the feelings of being in love will follow.

My guess is that the divorce rate would drop drastically if we could change that one single myth. Marriage is about choosing to love someone, not being blown around by fickle emotions.

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.