Monthly Archives :

May 2007

Summer: The Death Season For Marriage
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Here in the States, it is Memorial Day. For some people, this is a remembrance for those who gave their lives in war.

But for most folks, it simply marks the beginning of the summer season. Ah, the livin’ is easy. . . at least according to the songs.

School is out in most places, and the atmosphere just takes on a little more relaxed pace. People are out playing ball, taking a walk, swinging on the front porch, taking a vacation. Things just seem to slow down.

For me, summer marks a shift in marriages. Many marriages will end this season. Summer brings with it a break in the routine, and for many people, a transition point in marriage. Some people have been silently making plans. Other times, the couple have been marking the days until summer to finally take action.

The ending dates are predictable in lots of cases: just after the holidays, after an important date (birthdays), before important dates (anniversaries), and summertime. This is especially true when kids are involved. The couple reasons that there are several months for everyone to adjust.

Bad news: there is never a good time to end a relationship. Rationalize it all you want, but there is never a good way, never a good time, and never a least-damaging way.

My hope is that people will take the summer and work on their relationships. The slowdown means there are less activities that are scheduled. Spend some time together. Play together as a family. Choose to forgive and move ahead. Keep the marriage together!

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.

Life Is Short: Save Your Marriage!
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Did you hear the story about the billboard with the message: “Life Is Short, Get A Divorce”?

I was horrified! OK, to be fair, after lots of complaints, the billboard came down.

But the fact is that our culture has pushed too hard to make it too easy to end a marriage. The real task is to stay married, to be true to the vows made.

Marriage is a challenge to be navigated, not an expendable part of life. Sure, there are times when abuse or infidelity make the marriage impossible. But most marriages are ended for little to no real reason.

How often have I heard the statement, “we just grew apart,” or “I fell out of love.” I don’t buy either one.

Life is too short to have a bad marriage. But that is not a reason to get rid of the marriage! Instead, it is a challenge to improve the marriage, to make it something worthwhile for all.

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.