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June 2007

Will Sex Fix the Problem?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

In yet another case of the book being written based on some life experience, a couple decided to try to get their marriage on track. . . by having sex daily for 100 days! You can read about it by CLICKING HERE.

Would this work for everyone? The answer is “sorta, kinda, not, but maybe.” How’s that for definite responses? The truth is that the marriage in question may not have been on-track, but it was not in the gutters. It was just “so-so,” which does account for a large part of the population.

In the end, this couple decided to really shake up their life — throw a little passion into the mix. This changes the relationship. It shifted them from roommates to married couple, from parents to lovers. That is a good thing.

My concern is how we have made sex such a big issue. I always chuckle when a couple comes into my office, telling me they “just don’t have time for sex.” Come on. The vast majority of us spend more than 1/2 an hour watching TV, or otherwise wasting time. The average length of sex is, from what I have read, 20 minutes. That’s a TV show minus the commercials!

In the end, we have made sex too big of an issue (imagining it takes too much time and too much energy), and at the same time have taken it too lightly (forgetting the glue that sex adds to a marriage, the connection it creates).

Do the authors of the book have the solution? Maybe not, but it might be a fun test!

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.