Showing Up. REALLY Showing Up!https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
My travels are finally over for a bit. Another trip to California for more personal/professional development. I spend a good bit of my time trying to stay at the top of my game, and with the latest developments in this arena.
I have now been back for 4 days, and my brain is clearing from the time change. I still wake up in the middle of the night, but it is getting better.
Good thing, too, since I just launched a new virtual magazine, Thriveology Magazine. If you have an iPad, give it a look!
But there is another reason it is a good thing my brain, mind, and body are just about in the same time zone. That reason is because in my personal and professional life, I really strive to be right there, right in the moment.
How often do we just go through the motions. You know what I mean? We sit in front of the computer (or tablet or phone or TV), lost in the media. We check our email, check our texts, follow the links, change the station, toss back some chips. . . and suddenly, hours have passed.
At the last conference, Brendon Burchard really pushed us on this one. He challenged us all to Show UP! This means to fully be ourselves, to be present, to really bring our greatness to the world.
Now, before that word, “greatness,” throws you off, let’s talk.
I truly believe we all have greatness within us.
That doesn’t mean we are always showing the world our greatness. Only that it is really in there. (Some of us cover it up very well!)
Your greatness is what others love in you. It is what your spouse came to love within you. And that is the problem. When marriages get into trouble, it is usually true that one or both have quit showing up.
Oh, sure, you may both be in the same room. But that is not the same as showing up. Showing up is about being present, of showing yourself, of focusing on the other.
What would that look like for you? How can you show up? How can you show up MORE? (And we can ALWAYS show up more!)
When your spouse is talking, do you focus on your spouse? Do you listen, showing your interest?
And if you are not interested, why are you not interested?
Quick answer: if you are not interested any longer in what your spouse is sharing, you have disconnected a part of yourself. You have stopped showing up.
Reconnect with that part of yourself and you will reconnect with your spouse. Guaranteed.
If you have an inner voice shouting, “why can’t my spouse SHOW UP?”, demand that voice go away. You have no control on how your spouse is showing up. But you do have control over how YOU show up. So SHOW UP!
Marriages are saved by our connection, or reconnection, with our better selves. When we demand of ourselves to show up, to be present, we bring ourselves to the relationship in a new way. And guess what? That new way is much more inviting, much more attractive.
And guess what? Life is ALWAYS better when we truly SHOW UP!
Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.