What Plane Crashes, Scuba Accidents, Rampant Dinosaurs, and Medical Mistakes Have To Do With Your Marriage Crisis: #51 Save The Marriage Podcast

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Why marriages succeed or fail.So what DO airplane and scuba accidents have to do with marriage problems?  What CAN rampaging dinosaurs and medical accidents teach us about your marriage problems?

As it turns out, A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT!

For years, I have had a strange fascination with reading Scuba accident reports.  And for about that same amount of time, science theories about accidents and chaos theory have been an interest.

The reason for this is because those same dynamics play a role in any system failure — including marriage!

“John” and “Susie” are not having problems because of an argument or even infidelity.  Those are just pieces of the puzzle.  The problem is that John and Susie keep looking at those little pieces — and they miss the bigger view — the one that COULD help them get back on track.

In this podcast, you will learn about the chain of events that create a marriage crisis.  You will learn about the pattern that spirals out of control and can spell catastrophe for a marriage.  And you will learn how shifting perspective can change the whole pattern.

Let me know what you think in the comments area below!

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
  • Gu

    Dear Dr. Baucom,

    I grasped the meaning of this “Swiss cheese model” and how it applies to the chain of events that may lead to a marriage crisis. I well understood how all those various preconditions form the platform on which the vicious cycle begins and is rebuilt again and again.
    I have long ago started to identify several of those preconditions which help me to answer the question “What was wrong with our marriage?” Maybe I missed this out – though I repeated the second half of the podcast twice – but I did not understand where and how to find the “one way back” , as so nicely illustrated with the little picture. Can you help me? (Still contact, but two years separated). Thank you for your valuable insights.

  • Gu, thanks for listening and commenting. I’d love to help you find the way back. In fact, that is the plan I lay out in my Save The Marriage System.
    There is just not enough time to cover all of that in a podcast, so it is really the heart of my program. I hope you check it out!

  • Au

    I have listened to almost every single podcast and am currently reading your book 3 Simple steps. The Swiss cheese model has, however absolutely nailed my situation with my wife. I have been working soooo hard on the reconnect part of our relationship, thinking everything was going well….I was even back in our bed (no intimacy but really great full) but yesterday was banished to the spare room and we have somehow agreed to a separation but under the same roof. I really can’t believe I’m back to this….this has been going on for 8 months! I am the model husband and so respectful of her needs for space (as it was presented to me in the beginning). Your advice to date has been working brilliantly and even in her eyes I have really changed as she has told me this. I cannot help but feel as though I have failed if all of this has come unstuck again! We have 3 fantastically beautiful children, an amazing little family and fantastic life. When she was presenting her case for separation yesterday…I remained calm listened and we talked it out….she was so upset, as was I. When I mentioned the Swiss cheese model as representative of what’s going on with us, she agreed! She has worked with this model in her professional life. I’d love to get some feedback here on how to keep thrusting forward when the wind has totally been taken from my sails! Has anyone comeback from this….I’m a fighter and will never ever throw in the towel on this marriage!