Marriage is NOT 50/50

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Marriage is NOT 50/50: Immutable Law of MarriageMany marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it.  “You put in your half, and I put in my half,” seems to be the thought.  Sounds good.  Fair.  Equal.

And destined for disaster.

It makes sense, doesn’t it, to see things that way?  Both people should be putting in their fair share, right?

The problem is it doesn’t take long for one or both to say, “You aren’t putting in your ‘fair share.'”  Which is quickly followed with, “So, neither will I.”

This is a Balance Book Marriage.  And it is destined for problems.

First, we often don’t notice what a spouse is putting in (and tend to exaggerate what we are putting in).  So we are balancing against fiction.

Second, there are times when a spouse doesn’t have it to put in (life distractions, illnesses, etc.).

A better model is “All In.”  Let’s talk about why (as we wrap up the Immutable Laws of Marriage Series).

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE
#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)
#3 We ALL Have Fear
#4 There Is NO Pause
#5 Connection Is The Lifeblood
#6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress
#7 Love Is What You Do
#8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse
#9 You Have To Show Up
#10 Civility and Respect Is A Choice
#11 Trust Is A Gift
#12 Forgiveness Is Not A Blank Check
#13 Boundaries Protect A Marriage

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.