Doing The Right Thing vs. Doing It Right

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Doing what's right, the right way.Today, I tackle a pretty sensitive subject:  the difference between “Doing The Right Thing” and “Doing It Right.”

Let me be very clear:  I believe that working to save your marriage is heroic work.  It is pretty counter-cultural in our world of “throw away.”  We do it with stuff and relationships.  And “No Fault Divorce” (better called “Unilateral Divorce”) has made it simple.  Or at least it has been made to seem simple.

I also believe that working on saving a marriage is courageous.  It’s pretty scary to be in the middle of a crisis, and to CHOOSE to work on the relationship.  That is the definition of courage — feeling fear, and choosing to act, anyway.

Sometimes, I watch people who want to do the right thing, but they don’t do it the right way.  “No Contact Rule,” Reverse Psychology, hypnosis, spells. . . you name it, I see people try it.

And I watch their efforts fail.  Their desire to change things is absolutely there.  But the approach is in trouble.  It kind of reminds me of deciding to diet, then choosing an ice-cream diet.  Probably not going to get the results you want (although it does sound delicious).

Starting with the best of intentions is a great beginning point.  But it has to be followed with an approach that works.

Let’s talk about Doing The Right Thing, AND Doing It The Right Way.


No Contact Rule Is Crap
So Is Reverse Psychology
And Shortcuts Aren’t
And “Try Anything” Fails
But This System Works

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.