Posts Tagged :

forgiveness in marriage

Of Apologies and Forgiving
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The role of apology and forgiving in a marriage.  Apologies help.  Forgiveness helps, too.We all have hurts from close relationships — and especially in marriages.  It is impossible to be in such an intimate relationship and not bump into each other (in hurtful ways) over and over.  The problem is when the hurts don’t heal.

Bumps, they happen.  Continued pain and hurt from the bumps, that doesn’t have to happen.

Yet, many times, I watch couples dragging the hurts around for way to long.  Weeks, months, even years.  Not noticing the damage that is happening to the relationship along the way.

There are two parts to the process of healing:  apology and forgiving.  But, and this is important, they are not dependent upon each other.  They are separate.  Sometimes, people lump them together.  And while they are related, one does not link to the other.

You may apologize and the other person, for example, may not forgive you.  Likewise, the other person may not apologize, and yet you still choose to forgive.

Let’s talk about each of these processes and why they are not related… and why that is important.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Hurt and Blame
How Hurt Keeps You Stuck
Anatomy Of An Apology
Why To Forgive
Save The Marriage System
VIP Virtual Coaching

The Power of Apology and Forgiving
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The power of apology and forgiving to transform your marriage.Any intimate relationship is going to lead to some hurts along the way.  It’s just impossible to be that close to someone and not bump into each other (and each other’s emotions) every now and then.

The question is what you do when the hurt hangs around. It lingers and lurks, eating away at the connection — unless it is released.

Which is where apologies and forgiving come in.

Each serves a purpose to clear the air.

But to be clear, they aren’t necessarily linked.  You might apologize and not be forgiven.  You might forgive even without an apology.  Each comes from your choice.

Let’s talk about what’s behind each:  the elements of an apology and the decision to forgive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Anatomy Of An Apology
After An Argument
Importance of Forgiving
Connection
How To Save Your Marriage

Holiday Edition: Ghosts of Relationship Past
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The Ghosts of Relationship Past.Christmas Eve.  Chris and Holly have settled into bed.  Neither can sleep.  It is not, however, sugarplums dancing in their heads.

Both are replaying the arguments and hurts of the past.  Neither feels connected, although both are desperate for that warm embrace each used to treasure.

What happened?  Where did their relationship fall into trouble?

Can they find their way back?

First, they will have to make it through a night of haunts, as the Ghosts of Relationship Past visit them this night.

Are they the same ghosts that haunt your relationship?  Is there a path through the pain?

Listen in as Chris and Holly face the hauntings of their relationship.