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Marriage Crisis Solutions

Chronic, Crisis, Flashpoint, Tipping Point – What Happened??
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

When the chronic marital issue becomes a marriage crisis -- the flashpoint of the crisis -- it crossed a tipping point.“What happened?”, they ask me.  They tell me they knew things weren’t great… but they had no idea that things were “this bad,” to the point that a spouse is threatening separation or divorce.

Suddenly, a chronic marriage problem becomes a marriage crisis.

They can’t believe “that one argument” led to the threats of divorce.

And they are exactly right.  That was just a flashpoint.

At some point, most chronic issues have a tipping point, when they go from chronic to crisis.  it happens with health issues.  And it happens with relationship issues.

Nothing is great… but not horrible… until everything turns upside-down.  The problem erupts into a crisis.

If that is what happened to you, you need to understand the dynamics behind this.  I cover those dynamics in today’s podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Connection
Conflict
“How I Saved My Marriage”
System To Save A Marriage

5 Reasons Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

I often 5 reasons why your marriage has not turned around and is still in crisis.get emails and phone calls asking, “Why isn’t my marriage turning around?  Why aren’t things improving?”

My first assessment is to see how long they have been trying. (I heard from a guy that told me he had spent the afternoon on the marriage, and it was no different!)  Sometimes, the timeframe is too short.  But sometimes, the efforts have gone along for awhile.

Next, I ask how long the crisis has been going on.  Generally, it has been going on longer than the person thinks.  They just didn’t know it was in trouble.

After that, the primary reasons why a marriage hasn’t turned (yet) fit within 5 categories.

Your strategy changes, depending upon which category your marriage (or more accurately, your spouse’s response) fits into.

If you can identify the category, you can choose your response for that particular category.

Let’s go through the categories in this episode of the podcast and see if we can plot a course that turns things around.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Resentment in Marriage
Having A Plan
Stalled Out?
Yet
Save The Marriage System

Surviving Disconnection
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

How to survive and correct disconnection in your marriage, so that you can save your marriage.Survival has been the theme for the last few weeks.  Not just surviving, but overcoming and thriving.  We’ve covered separation, infidelity, conflict, the “Golden Hour,” mistakes, and Empty Nest/Mid Life Crisis.  This week, we end the series on surviving as we turn our attention to disconnection.

Really, in many ways, disconnection is the underlying issue.  It leads to separation and infidelity.  It amplifies conflict.  It precipitates the crisis.  It contributes to the mistakes.  And an empty nest/midlife is a marriage crisis because of the disconnection.

Which makes it so important to cover this week.

If you want to resolve a marriage crisis, you have to survive the disconnection — and create renewed connection.

Connection is the lifeblood of a relationship, and especially a marriage.  As the connection goes, so goes the relationship — unless you solve the disconnection.

Let’s talk about why the disconnection is such an issue and how to solve it.

RELATED RESOURCES
Surviving Separation
Surviving Infidelity
Surviving Conflict
Surviving The Golden Hour
Surviving Mistakes and Backslides
Surviving Empty Nest/Mid Life Crisis
You Need A Plan
Love Languages
Save The Marriage System

One Question That Can Destroy Any Marriage
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

There is one question that can ruin any marriage. . . .There are some questions that can help a marriage.  There are many thoughts that can improve your relationship.

But there is one question that will suck the life right out of a marriage.  And it is a question you don’t even need to ask another person, in order to do the damage.

In fact, another person won’t make a difference for this question.  It is a question lurking within you.

Oh, and did I mention that another question, similar to this question — but very different in direction — can help restore a relationship?

Change the question, change the frame.  Get stuck on the question, get stuck in a downward spiral.  It’s up to you. . . once you know the question.

Which one are you asking?

(Need some help with your marriage?  Grab my Save The Marriage System RIGHT HERE.)