Posts Tagged :

pause button marriage

Can a Marriage Turn Around Quickly?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Is your marriage in crisis?  Can it turn around?  How long would it take to turn around?  Maybe faster than you think.  This training tells you why (and why not).Lots of people have asked me how long it takes for a marriage crisis to turn around… for the marriage to start heading in the RIGHT direction.  Does it take days?  Weeks??  Years???

I often tell them that marriages in crisis can often turn around amazingly fast.

That doesn’t mean YOUR marriage will.  But it often does happen.

Why is it that a marriage can feel like it is on the edge of collapse, and then seemingly come back to life overnight?

It all has to do with a basic human need that we all have.  It is the central part of a marriage, and goes so deep that when it is missing, it is painful.  When it is restored (the right way), it is immediately healing.  Listen below for why marriage turn quickly (and why the don’t).

RELATED RESOURCES
Connection is the Lifeblood
There is no Pause
No Manipulation
Healing Disconnection
Save The Marriage System

 

“What IS Connection??” – Listener Question
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Do you have a question you want answered about marriage, marital problems, relationship issues, and how to save your marriage?  Send an email and ask your question.  If it is something that would benefit others, I will answer it in a future podcast episode!

Answering a listener's question, "What IS connection, anyway?"  Great question.  And an important one, if you are trying to save your disconnected marriage.  So, I discuss it in this week's Save The Marriage Podcast episode.If you are a regular listener of the Save The Marriage Podcast, you know how often I discuss “connection,” the importance of it and the dangers of disconnection. But do you know what I mean when I say, “connection”?

Chad didn’t.  So, he asked.

Sometimes, we can get pretty far down the path on a plan, but forget the basics, the fundamentals.

And connection is an absolutely crucial fundamental.  Broken marriages are disconnected marriages.  Healthy marriages are connected.  The disconnection is the path to failure.  And… no surprise… connection is the path to health and healing.

In our disconnected world, in our busy world, connection is often lost.  Not on purpose, but lost nonetheless.  And while it may have seemed effortless in the beginning, if you don’t understand what you are trying to do, you can get lost and confused.

In this episode of the podcast, I answer Chad’s question:  “What IS connection??”  (It just might answer your question, too.)

RELATED RESOURCES:
Click Here To Email YOUR Question
Healthy Connection
Better Communication
Less Conflict
Book:  How To Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps
System:  Save The Marriage System

Why Pause Is A Problem
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Why Pause Is A Problem -- you hit the pause button on your marriage.  Here is why that is such a problem... and how to start un-pausing.The Pause Button.  You didn’t know you hit it.  But you probably did.

“We’ll get back to each other after the kids/ promotion/ travels/ hobbies/ events/ friends… (well, you get the idea).”

AFTER life, we will get back to love.

There is only one problem.  Relationships are either growing or receding, strengthening or weakening.

There IS no pause.

When you hit the Pause-Button, you are… even without realizing it… choosing the path of disconnection.

Then, when you go to UN-pause, you look at each other, strangers.  Disconnected.

In this episode of the podcast, I tell you why pause is such a problem, and point you to a path back.

RELATED RESOURCES
The Pause Button Marriage
Connection in Marriage
Surviving Disconnection
Communication in Marriage
Save The Marriage System

Two Modes Killing Your Marriage
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

2 Modes Killing Marriage.Over and over, I see the same two “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness.

The hurt and pain often lead to anger and resentment down the road.  But it simply starts in innocence.  Most people don’t even know they are operating in these modes.

You may be making this mistake (or have made this mistake) and dropped into one or both modes.

The first mode is “Pause-Mode,” thinking that you can hit pause while life moves forward.  Parenting and career often are reasons to hit the pause button.  But there is no Pause Button in marriage.

The second mode is “Me-Mode.”  In marriage, you are building a WE.  But if you don’t know that, and don’t know what that is, you are likely to get caught in Me-Mode, to the detriment of the marriage.

Both modes develop innocently.  And either mode is capable of taking down a marriage. Don’t fall prey to these two modes.

Listen to this week’s podcast for more help.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Pause Button Marriage
Marriage Is About WE
How To Fix Your Marriage