resentment and marriage

I often watch people move toward one of two possibilities when a marriage is in trouble:  Better or Bitter.  One letter difference, but what a difference in destination.

One leads a couple to a rewarding and loving relationship, improving and stabilizing:  Better.

The other leads to more anger, more resentment, more distance, and further deterioration:  Bitter.

Here is the irony:  many times, the person proclaiming a desire to work on the marriage, to get it turned around, is the one holding onto bitterness.  And bitterness has a tendency to grow, unless the person chooses to make a shift.

A shift to Better.

Over the years, I have watched people who proclaim a desire to save their marriage.  They start taking steps, start connecting, start the healing… and when a spouse begins to turn, the one putting in the work suddenly turns… away.  The bitterness gains ground.  It eats away at all progress.

And in the process, the couple proves the marriage was “too far gone,” “too hurt,” or “too damaged.”  In reality, bitterness set in and disrupted any possibility of healing.

So, there is a choice:  Bitter or Better?

Let’s talk about the roots of bitterness and how to let it go.  Listen to the podcast below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Don’t Let Emotions Choose
Forgiving in Marriage
Showing Up
Empathy and Connection
Save The Marriage System

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