7 Stages of Disconnection — Where Are You?: #59

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The 7 Stages of DisconnectionIs your marriage feeling disconnected?

Connection is the nourishment of every marriage.  If you break the connection, you starve the relationship.

So why are so many marriages connection-starved?

Most people don’t realize how important the connection is.  So, life gets in the way:  careers, friends, hobbies, interests, children.  Over time, the distractions build up.

Until one day, you realize that either you do not feel the warmth toward your spouse or your spouse does not feel the warmth toward you.

By then, you may already be a couple of stages into the disconnection spiral.  And you may have never seen it coming!

Just a couple of days ago, “Sue” told me she thought the relationship would take care of itself.  She thought she and her husband built the connection during their dating days.

“Somehow,” she told me, “I thought the marriage would just roll along.  We would be happy and all would be good.  I forgot to reach out to him.  He stopped reaching out to me.  Now, there is a huge, cold divide between us in bed.  I don’t even know how to move forward.  I am beginning to think he doesn’t even like me anymore.  And I have lost all respect.”

Take a look at the graphic to the right.

You will notice that Sue has identified 2 stages in the process of disconnection:  dislike and disrespect.

Where is YOUR relationship?

In today’s podcast, I explore the very typical (but very tragic) pattern of disconnection — a process that takes many marriages right to the brink of divorce and separation.

If you know the stages, you can understand the process.  And the process is reversible.  The earlier you start, the easier the process.  The deeper the hurt and the lower the stage, the more difficult the recovery process.

Are you ready to reconnect?  Please grab my Save The Marriage System RIGHT HERE.

If you already have my System, but want some more intensive training, shoot me an email:  [email protected].  I have some audio training that will transform you and your marriage.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
  • andi2007

    I have fallen into the trap letting life roll over my relationship. My husband is wavering somewhere between dislike and disdain. He is affectionate at times, but is spending more time with friends and clearly is not happy. I knew things were not the way they should be, but chalked it up to having kids and just part of the marriage cycle. I am devastated and praying I can turn this around. We were once best friends and had all 3 connections.

  • Sunstripe

    This sounds very familiar, and for me everything fell apart some time ago. Throw infidelity into the mix, and I couldn’t stand it any more. I was so stressed I was getting sick so I left to save my health and sanity.

  • Charley

    My husband has told me he is not in love any more after almost 12 years marriage 15 years together he has said he “doesn’t like me ” so he’s in between 6-7 right now ? I am totally devasted 😢 And feel at a loss and want to rebuild .But he’s pushing for seperation ☹️😤😥😞 I am so lost and confused and sad.