Marriage and The Goldilocks Principle

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Happy marriages, hurting marriages, and the "Goldilocks Principle"Remember that children’s story?  Goldilocks, lost in the woods, stumbles upon the bear family home — which they had just left.  Inside, she finds one bowl of porridge too hot, one too cold, and one just right.  Same with chairs:  one too soft, one too hard, and one just right. Same with beds:  one too soft, one too hard, and one just right.  Goldilocks picks (duh) the “just right” option and falls asleep.

But remember:  the too hot/cold, too hard/soft items were not too hard/soft, hot/cold for other members of the bear family.  We all have “just rights” that are just right to us — not to others.

And that is true with marriage.  Healthy marriages are built to be “just right” to both people.  In hurting marriages, it may not be “just right” for either.  Or it may only be “just right” to one. Both situations can cause strife, conflict, and pain.

This week, let’s talk about how the “Goldilocks Principle” applies to marriage — and how you might be able to get to a “just right” relationship.

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Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.