Enemies, Victims, or….

150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Of Enemies and Victims. Roles that can destroy a marriage and keep you from saving it.Roles.  We all have them.  We all play them.

Some are “identity roles.”  They identify us in the role.  For example, I am “son,” “father,” “brother,” “husband.”

Some are “function roles.”  They identify what we do.  For example, I am “coach,” “therapist,” “author,” “speaker,”  and “podcaster” (among others).  They tell you what I do, what role I play in life.

Then there are “attribution roles.”  They try to describe why we do something.

And it is in the arena of attribution roles that I want to focus some attention.  Because those attributions, both on ourselves and others, can serve to keep us stuck.  And keep others stuck in the roles we attribute to them.

Two very toxic roles are the roles of Enemy and Victim.

To be clear, there is a difference between being a victim of some circumstance and playing the role of Victim.

And to be crystal clear, no matter what has happened in your marriage to this point, you are NOT Enemies.  That is a role that you may assign.  But it will keep you stuck.

Listen in to this podcast episode for more on avoiding these roles… and what to do, instead.

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Save The Marriage System

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.

All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.