Midlife Crises and Affairs Go Hand-In-Hand

• January 16, 2009
• Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
• no comments

OK, I know the subject may seem obvious. All the stereotypes of midlife crises include an affair, new car, new job, extreme sports, maybe even plastic surgery!

Too bad because that misses the point of a midlife crisis. A mid life crisis is really about someone seeking meaning in life. Trying to figure out what to do that would bring meaning — that is the real issue. The reason: we all have a need for meaning in life, and the majority of people don’t really know how to find it.

This leads to the midlife marriage crisis. Often, this is made more complicated by an affair. Suddenly, the couple has to figure out how to resolve a midlife crisis and stop an affair. The mess is made worse.

Here’s the thing: an affair, sexual or emotional, is not going to help anyone through a midlife crisis. Unfortunately, because the seeking meaning is so hard to define, but the drive is so great, many people find themselves caught in a web of temptation.

It is a sense that the current marriage is not meaningful. But the real issue is that life is not meaningful. Finding meaning in life, not having an affair, is a healthy approach.

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