March 2013

Well, yet another year has rolled by.  I am staring at my 47th anniversary of joining this world.  What a journey it has been (and one I hope is long from ending!).

Like everyone, there have been ups and downs, lessons and blessings.  Through it all, I can only hope that I have learned and loved, and perhaps helped the world a bit.

As I look forward, those are my same hopes:  to learn and love, and to leave the world a little better.

While I struggle with words like “fortunate,” “blessed,” or “lucky,” it has been a great life so far.  I have loved and been loved, found a wonderful soulmate to grow with, and have great children that will contribute to our world.

Along the way, I have learned some lessons.  And being human, I keep having to relearn those lessons.  But briefly, here they are:

1) It ain’t about me!

This one has multiple meanings.  First, when I feel hurt, I work to remind myself that it is likely not personal.  Something is going on with the other person.  Because in the end, we are all primarily about ourselves.

Which brings me to the second part of that phrase.  The world is way bigger than me.  Waiting for the world to come to me has always been a waste.  Waiting for the world is a never-ending wait.  Serving the world, being of service, is really what it is about.

2) Forgive, forgive, forgive.

For many years, I was under the wrong assumption that forgiveness somehow was for the other person, for the one that had (at least in my mind) wronged me.  But one day, I realized that not forgiving, or making forgiveness for the other person, left me with the baggage.  And that baggage, as it turned out, was always garbage.

I am more and more clear that forgiveness is so that I can move forward.  Sometimes, that includes reconciliation with the other person, so that we can move forward.  But the real power is in letting me move on.

3) Life is growth.  No growth, no life.

One of my favorite quotes is Ray Kroc:  “You are either green and growing or ripe and rotting.”

The longer I am around, the more I see I have to learn.  Learning and growing go hand-in-hand.  When I lose sight of this, I stagnate.  When I stagnate, I lose my direction, momentum, and meaning.

My goal is to always be looking for engagement in the world.  What makes me excited?  What gets me interested?  My goal is to keep my eyes on those things.

4) Struggles are not just a part of life, they are the fuel of growth.

Every struggle is an opportunity to grow and develop.  Just like building muscle takes stress on the body, building character takes struggle.  When we wish for no struggles, we set ourselves up to stop developing ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think you have to go looking for struggles.  They are sure to come our way.  When we resist struggle, we resist the opportunity to grow and develop.

5) Live with meaning and purpose.

We can chase lots of shiny things in life.  But the North Star by which I navigate my direction is looking at what brings a sense of meaning and purpose in my life.  That does not guarantee that the shiny things will follow.

But shiny things will never replace the inner drive for meaning.  Oh, we try.  We often try to purchase happiness, but I am now more convinced that meaning and purpose are the two parts that deliver us to where we need to be.

My mission becomes the important navigator for my 2nd half of life.

6) Relationships are sustaining.

I have to admit, I was that kid who could play by himself for hours.  Ask my older brother.  It drove him crazy.  I could easily live in my imaginary world and entertain myself.  And in many ways, I have chosen fairly individual pursuits.

But that does not mean I don’t treasure relationships.  While I don’t have a huge group of friends around me, I do cherish the friendships that are there.  And I greatly treasure my family.  Time with family is satisfying and sustaining for me.  Time with my spouse is very important to me.

It balances the amount of time I spend in my professional life, working to provide information to help others to thrive.  That creation content tends to be fairly isolated and quiet.

7) My body is my vehicle, and I have to take care of it!

Okay, I have to admit, I was a bit late in figuring this one out.  I have come to realize that my body is my vehicle for doing all of the above.

Vehicles come in many different versions.  Some have their own problems.  And as far as our bodies are concerned, we get what we get.  Our only option is how we are going to take care of it.

My wakeup call came in 2002, when a health scare made me realize just how far off the mark I was.  I was overweight, out of shape, and not careful about the fuel I was putting in.  The doctor telling us that there was a 86% chance of permanent disability tends to wake one up.

I was fortunate, and I recovered.  It took well over 1/2 a year, and I can still feel pangs from that incident, but I am recovered.

In fact, I am probably in the best shape of my life.  I say “probably,” since we never know what is lurking just below the surface, deeper in our bodies.

Now, I exercise and am careful about the food I eat.  I enjoy food, but see the balance with it being good fuel.

I want my vehicle to last as long as possible, because there is so much to see, do, and be in this world.

 

There are LOTS of other lessons, but as I reflect on this moment, they stand out as the ones to which I return over and over.  My mission:  helping others to thrive, regardless of what life throws at them.