Love Is NOT Effortless
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
Maybe you have heard these lines:
- “Love should just happen.”
- “This is just too much work.”
- “I’m not feeling it, so it must not be true love.”
- “I just don’t feel the attraction/excitement I used to feel. Something is wrong.”
Have you ever been told something so many times that you begin to doubt yourself? You begin to believe what the other person (an upset spouse, friends, family, etc.) says — even if it goes against what you (think you) believe.
Our notions about love are like that. And unfortunately, those romanticized notions of love are what we grow up on. We are fed them by movies, books, songs, and culture.
But Authentic Love is different. It is not devoid of romance. It is just not based on it. Romanticized love is based on 4 unsustainable elements. Authentic Love is based on 4 sustainable elements, and in your control.
“I’m not feeling it” is not a reason to end a marriage. It is a reason to reconsider the working definition of love.
Don’t be sucked in by the view of love in the movies, in the books, in songs, and that others around you might have. It is dangerous, and misguided.
(No, I am not against romance — unless it is used as the “litmus test” of a relationship. Otherwise, it is great!)
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Interview with Bob Grant
The Save The Marriage System
Apply to the Virtual Coaching Program
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