June 2015 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Am I Trying To Brainwash You? (An Open Letter)

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg June 24, 2015 June 1, 2015

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 24, 2015

I admit I was a magician in my younger years. But I never did much with mental magic (tricks that make you think I am reading your mind). And I never really got into hypnosis (although I do love a good performing hypnotist – nothing like a person barking on stage!).

Which is why it cracks me up when people have accused me of trying to brainwash their spouse.

I used to deny it. Swear that I was doing nothing to brainwash, hypnotize, or manipulate anyone (or their spouse).

But I gave up.

So, today, I have a confession. Yes, guilty as charged, I am trying to brainwash your spouse. But you may just like what I am doing! (Or you may not, if you don’t believe in commitment, growth, security, concern for family — things like that.)

Here is my confession — for anyone and their spouse that is concerned I am “brainwashing.” (And trust me when I tell you that you seriously overestimate my skills on that one!)

My confession is below:
(And if you are interested in the book I mention, here is the link: http://savethemarriage.com/book)

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How To TRULY Change

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 17, 2015

Life is change. Relationships change, we change, the world around us changes.

Yet, for the most part, we humans resist change.

Let’s assume you have now listened to my series on What Happy Couples Do Differently. Let’s further assume that you think it might be even a good idea to move in that direction.

That does raise the question of how to change. You’ve already decided to change.

So, for the next couple of weeks, lets talk about this change.

Real change.

Not just making it look like you are changing. But truly changing.

That change starts from the inside, and works outward. The level of change we are talking about is changing your beliefs, your paradigm, your understanding of the world.

Are you ready?

If you are, let me invite you to learn about my KNAC Protocol of Change. This protocol describes the 3 arenas of change, and how each one builds to a real change.

Listen in on the podcast as I describe the KNAC Protocol and how to begin the process of change.

Resources Referenced:
What Happy Couples Do Differently, Part 1: Conflict
What Happy Couples Do Differently, Part 2: Connection
What Happy Couples Do Differently, Part 3: Companionship
The Save The Marriage System

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How To Move From Shake-Up To Make-Up

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 9, 2015

Life is going along. Everything seems to be fine. But under the surface, things are not good. You just didn’t know it yet.

Then comes the “shake-up.” You discover things are not going well. Your spouse is unhappy, frustrated, and angry with the situation.

From here, I can predict the direction. At a certain point, you will have to choose whether things continue to spiral toward break-up, or if you will move to make-up.

There are a number of danger points and mistakes along the way.

Can I tell you about the path in front of you, and how to avoid the pitfalls?

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11 Things Happy Couples Do Differently: Companionship (part 3)

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 3, 2015

Happy couples are no different than unhappy couples. They have similar backgrounds, same jobs, same income levels, and same interests.

But they do some things differently. And those differences in how they do conflict, connection, and companionship, make all the difference.

Changes in action lead to changes in trajectory. That leads to changes in outcome.

But what if you could extrapolate those differences, and add them into YOUR relationship.

Well, for the past three episodes, that is what we have been doing.

In the first episode, we looked at how happy couples do conflict differently.

In the second episode, we looked at how happy couples connect with each other differently.

In this week’s episode, we turn to how happy couples treat each other differently, as individuals. This is about how they treasure their companion and protect their relationship.

Successful couples see themselves as a team, a unit, a WE (as I call it). But that WE is made up of two individuals. Those two individuals create the strongest WE when they are strong, themselves. When they develop and grow, the bring that growth and energy into the relationship.

More than that, happy couples create and maintain boundaries around their relationship. They protect and treasure the relationship. They support and treasure each other.

Learn how happy couples treat their companionship in this week’s podcast episode.

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