The Compatibility Myth
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
“We’re just not compatible” has been the start of many “we can’t stay together” discussions. But is it true? Is there an issue of compatibility?
If you believe the many on-line dating profiles, that is the way you find your love: compatibility. Complete a profile, indicate what you like, and be cross-referenced for people with similar likes.
But guess what? Not much research backs that.
“Birds of a feather flock together” is no more true than “opposites attract.”
And still. . . it is the stated reason for many marriage-ending discussions.
When I hear the statement in my office, I have one central question: “What do you mean by ‘compatible.'” Suddenly, confidence in incompatibility erodes into confusion on what they even mean.
In reality, it is mostly an excuse.
People from opposite ends of the political and/or religion spectrums get along just fine. People with opposite tastes in music, food, art, and whatever other “compatibles” there are, manage happy marriages. People with few or no shared sports or activities still stay in love.
There is one area of compatibility that DOES matter. I tell you about it in this week’s podcast, along with the reasons why compatibility, for the most part, doesn’t matter for marital bliss.
And if you are ready to get beyond that “compatibility excuse,” grab my Save The Marriage System RIGHT HERE.
Want to know what marriage is REALLY about? LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE.
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