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Monthly Archives :

August 2017

How Limiting Beliefs Limit Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Are limiting beliefs limiting your marriage? Yep. Listen to the podcast to learn more.It almost seems redundant, doesn’t it?  If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something — say, for example, your marriage.

I say IF you have limited beliefs.

Full disclosure:  We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us.  We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs.  We just don’t notice them.  And we pay a price for that.

Especially since we usually fail to notice or address these limiting beliefs.

Do you think your limiting beliefs MIGHT be limiting your life and your marriage?

I’m betting that is the case, since it is true for all of us.

Here’s the good news:  you can change your limiting beliefs.  Once you know what they are.  And decide to change them

Listen below for this week’s podcast.

(Here is the resource that has a whole section on changing limiting beliefs — I wrote it.  FIND IT RIGHT HERE.)

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“I Won’t If My Spouse Won’t” — And You Are Stuck
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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"I won't if my spouse won't" and other ways to be stuck.A few days ago, that was what he said on the phone, “I won’t work on my marriage if my spouse won’t.” Now note:  he had contacted me — I help people save their marriage.

“Huh?” I uttered.

“Look,” he said, “if you think I am going to start working on my marriage by myself, that ain’t gonna happen.  Why don’t you convince my spouse to work on the marriage?”

“First,” I replied, “I am not in the market of trying to get someone to do something, neither you nor your wife.  Second, if you are always waiting for your spouse to do something before you do, you are probably very stuck.  Could I suggest something?”

“Probably not, but go ahead and try,” he said.

“Okay,” I pushed on, “what if you were to start working on things?  What if you were to just start moving in the direction of your marriage, seeing if you could improve the connection?  Is it possible that you could START the process, and your spouse could JOIN the process?”

“Maybe….”

Good enough for me.

You see, this is one of those stuck points of marriage.  If one spouse is refusing to do something until the other does something — and the spouse is doing the same thing — the marriage is frozen in place.  Stuck.

Someone has to shift.  Someone has to blink.  Someone has to be willing to change something in order for something to change.

Let’s talk about this stuck point — and how to get beyond it — in this week’s podcast (below).

(I mention a resource in the podcast.  FIND IT RIGHT HERE.)

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When Do You Need Coaching?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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3 times coaching can be helpful to save your marriage.If you follow me much, you know I am not a huge supporter of marital therapy.  On the other hand, Relationship Coaching can be a powerful tool in your efforts to save your marriage.

Many people use my Save The Marriage System and need no further help.

But then there are those times. . . .

Perhaps you are in the midst of one of those times.

Let’s talk about the differences between therapy and coaching.

And then, let me tell you about the 3 times where coaching can be helpful.

(Here is the link to learn more about 3C’s Coaching through Save The Marriage)

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“Can My Marriage Heal?”
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Can my marriage be better, healed, and saved?“I want to save my marriage,” she told me, “but can it actually be worth it?  If I do the work, and we don’t get divorced, will our marriage ever be good?”

I’ve had this same question many times in my career.  I replied with my same response, “I am not here to simply stop a divorce.  It isn’t worth it to save a marriage, only for it to be a miserable relationship.  Yes, your marriage can heal.  Yes, you can have a marriage you can treasure — both of you can treasure.  But only after you heal.”

Marriages are not like machines — once a part is broken, it’s done.  Marriages are more organic.  More like a human body.  If your body is injured by something, it will heal.  Sure, there may be a scar.  But sometimes, scars are stronger than what was there before.

Not overnight, but your marriage CAN heal, and CAN be a relationship you both will treasure.  It can be warm, loving, respectful, and strong.  It just takes some time and healing.

Learn more on this week’s podcast below.

Ready to start the healing?  GET MY SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM HERE.

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Time To “Go Pro”. . .
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Get focused and go pro.No.  I don’t mean you need to call in the professionals.

Have you ever noticed the difference between an amateur/hobbyist and a pro?  An amateur does something when they feel inspired.  Pros do it because its what needs to be done.

I was chatting with someone who is “writing” a book.  The person wants a better view, better resources, more research, and “inspiration.”  That book will never get written.

My friends who are multiple book authors go about it differently.  They do the writing, day in and day out, not waiting for inspiration.  They manufacture the inspiration.  They do what needs to be done — daily.

Or let’s say you think you should probably do something.  Days pass.  It remains undone.  But if it were your job and your boss said, “do it by 3,” I bet it would get done.  Because that’s part of being pro.

Are you taking on saving your marriage like a pro or an amateur?  Do you keep doing what needs to be done?  Or do you wait to be inspired?

Guess which way works.

Listen for more in today’s podcast.

Then, let’s get you the training so you are ready to Go Pro.  CLICK HERE.

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