Close
Enter your
text here
Monthly Archives :

July 2018

Top 10 Myths Series
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

The top 10 myths of marriage.There are so many myths out there about marriage, marital therapy, saving your marriage, and divorce.  Do you believe any of them?  If you do, they may be getting in the way of your efforts to save and improve your marriage.

These myths are so common that YOU may believe them, your spouse may believe them, your friends and family may believe them… even your therapist may believe them.

And that’s trouble!

Learn the myths in the links below, then take action!

Top 10 Myths of Marriage HERE

Top 10 Myths of Marital Therapy HERE

Top 10 Myths of Saving Your Marriage HERE

Top 10 Myths of Divorce HERE

Ready to bust the myths and take action grab my Save The Marriage System HERE

You Know You’re On The Same Team… Right??
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

You DO know you are on the same team, right??One more argument.  One more struggle.  They sat on my couch, facing each other down as opponents in some contest to… win… well, to be honest, I don’t know what they were trying to win.  Because they were not winning at marriage!

I stopped them, looked at them and said, “You do know you are on the same team…” and they stared blankly at me, so I continued, “… right??”

They certainly were not working like a team.  They were acting like enemies, in competition with each other.  They were struggling to win.  But either one “winning” would be a “lose” for the marriage.

Too many people miss this one essential — crucial — fact about marriage… you both are on the same team.  You are working toward a common goal (or should be).  The task is not winning as an individual, but as a team, as a couple, as a family.

This is the fundamental point of being what I call a “WE.”  WE are in this together; WE stand side-by-side; WE have each other’s back; WE are a team!  Same side, same direction (or should be).

Listen to this episode for how to get on the same team!

RELATED RESOURCES:
Connecting
Being A WE
Conflict
Save The Marriage System

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

“It shouldn’t be this hard!” (And Other Lies We Tell About Marriage)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

"It shouldn't be this hard" and other lies about marriage.Far from the first time, he turned to me in the middle of a session and said, “See? It just shouldn’t be this hard.  That is why I know this marriage is wrong.  If it were right, we wouldn’t struggle like this.”

I had to admit… they were struggling.  It was difficult.  BUT, the struggle did not prove the marriage was wrong.  It did demonstrate that the way they were interacting was not good for the relationship (or for either of the two people in my office).

What it did not prove was that the marriage was wrong.

Quick stat.  Do you have any idea what percent of marriages have difficulties and struggles?

Here is the answer… if you haven’t guessed:  100%

Yep.  All of them.

Somewhere around 50% figure out how to move through the struggle or stick it out, in spite of the struggle.

That’s just one of the lies we tell about marriages.  Not that people mean to lie.  They just say what they believe… which is a lie (or based on a lie).  Let me tell you four of the bigger lies people tell (themselves) in this episode of the podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Why It Matters
Feel Like Quitting
Myths of Marriage
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS