No, this will NOT fix your marriage! (but it’s the #1 request in therapy)
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
Yes, this is the #1 thing people request in therapy. And no, fixing it will not fix your marriage.
This is part rant, part warning, and part explanation. Because, communication skills has somehow become a central tenet of hurting marriages. So, therapists teach them, clients request them, and marriages just don’t get better.
When I was in training, this somehow became the default approach, even after all the theory and explanations of problems in a marriage. Lots of very convoluted, confusing theories were proposed, and then, the treatment?
Teach communication skills!
Which is probably why marriage therapy has such abysmal results. When you look at the actual research, 50% of marriages that seek therapy still end up divorced. Pretty much the overall national average for any marriage. And only 10 to 15% of couples report any improvement. Let me say that again: any improvement.
Why? Well there are multiple issues (I discuss them right here) behind this. But a big reason is this emphasis on communication skills. And yet, when I am meeting with a couple, almost always, I understand everything they are saying. And they seem to understand each other! That is not the issue.
In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I tell you why this isn’t going to save your marriage, and how to make a shift to what can.
Listen below!
RELATED RESOURCES:
Podcast: 3 Problems with Therapy
Substack: The Connection Compass
Program: The Save The Marriage System
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