You Either Come Together, Or Come Apart

• May 1, 2011
• Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
• no comments

I was getting ready to head out the door this morning, headed to teach a class.  On the TV were the images we all have had a chance to see.  Mangled cars, destroyed homes, scattered personal belongings.  The destruction from the tornadoes this past week is amazing and awful.

Then, in the midst of the story, were two different scenes.  In both, a couple was sitting on the front stoop of their house, arm in arm.  Except there was no home behind them.  Only a mess where their life had been.

I tried to find a picture of that scene, but couldn’t.  I did find a picture of a couple, though, surrounded by destruction in each others’ arms.

In the midst of a disaster, these are scenes of people doing what successful couples do.  They pull together.  They find love and support from each other as they try to move through the circumstances.

You either come together as a couple, or life will pull you apart.

Years back, we were on vacation, and the air conditioner in our vacation spot went out.  We were trouble-shooting some of the repairs, and I had removed a grill cover to the air filter in the floor.  The filter was still in place.

I was talking on the phone, trying to get the problem resolved.  I wasn’t noticing that I had left the grill off or that my young daughter was toddling toward the opening.

She stepped onto the air filter and it collapsed.  My wife jumped toward her, and I dropped the phone and moved to her.  When we both grabbed, all that was still above the hole was a foot and hand.

We pulled her to safety, realizing the next stop was the whirring blades of the fan, which had sucked her socks right off.

After the moments of confusion calmed, both my wife and I began to question/blame each other for not watching/not covering.  Point is, we pointed fingers.

But then my wife noted that we had lots more situations like this headed our way.  Did we want to fight against each other or pull together?

I have noticed that married couples have ample opportunities to either stand together or be in opposition.  Standing together, that is the goal.

One piece of the puzzle of how to save your marriage is to stand together.  Make a commitment to face the challenges of life on the same team, supporting and coming together.

Let’s remember to keep those in the path of the recent storm and so many of life’s storms in our thoughts and prayers.  My hope is they continue to stand together.