5 Ways Your Hurt and Pain Keep You Stuck

• August 5, 2015
• Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
• no comments

“James” and “Tina” are like many people who have contacted me over the years.

James and his wife had been struggling for years.  Arguments, fights, and conflicts had cut into their love for each other.

While James believed there was still love there, he knew it was buried deep for both of them.  James spent lots of time licking his wounds, remembering the struggles — and usually seeing that he had been “done wrong.”

He contacted me because James didn’t want to end his marriage.  But he didn’t know what to do.  He was stuck.

Tina’s husband just left one day.  They had not been fighting.  Really, neither had ever been much on arguing.

On his way out the door, Tina’s husband said, “I just don’t feel anything.  I need to clear my mind and see what comes up.”  And he was gone.

Tina was devastated.  What had she done?  Why had she been abandoned?  Tina wrote to say, “I don’t want a divorce.  But I didn’t do this.  Why should I have to do anything?”

Pain and hurt.  We avoid those feelings, but they still come to us.  That’s a part of life.

But sometimes, the pain and hurt can keep us stuck.  Ironically, when pain or hurt keeps you stuck, you generally only get more pain and hurt.  In other words, the “stuck” just keeps us in a cycle of getting more of what we want to avoid.

Is there another option?

Let’s discuss why pain and hurt keep you stuck and the games you play because of the hurt.  Then, let’s discuss a way to get un-stuck.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Games and Hidden Agendas
Responsibility and Marriage
Forgiving the Hurt
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS