New Year’s Resolutions For Your Marriage

• December 31, 2008
• Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
• no comments

I remember when I was back in school. At the end of each semester, I was so tired of that class, and just ready to move on. During college, it probably had something to do with being ready to leave behind the classes where I had maxed out my skips!

In any event, it was always nice to have a fresh start. I think that really is why we like New Year’s Day. It marks the start of something fresh.

And something fresh only becomes something useful when we are intentional. So, every year, I make a few resolutions. Not too many. Then, they don’t fall away. And I really try to keep them.

You are probably familiar with those resolutions that people make, then let fall away within a couple of weeks. The gyms are full on the 2nd, and empty by the 20th. My secret: I make sure I can see them everyday. I post them for myself to see, and remind myself of them.

This year, my resolutions are:
5) Focus on being more grateful.
4) Express that gratitude.
3) Avoid surrounding myself with negativity.
2) So that I can be more positive.
. . . and my biggy:
1) Finish my book on thriving!

Now, how about you? Specifically, what are your resolutions about your marriage? How will YOU be different during the next year to improve your marriage?

This is what I really like about resolutions — they can’t be about what someone else should do. And that is what we often get into when we think about marriage. We think about how our spouse ought to be different. A resolution puts it back into YOUR court! How will YOU be different?

Remember me back in school? I didn’t make it a fresh start by leaving school. I just made it a fresh start by taking another class, opening another chapter in life. I still had to deal with my grade-point average, so it was not just leaving everything behind. It was just a new start.

It is the same with your marriage resolution. Don’t think that your resolution is a fresh start without the marriage, without a past. Instead, make a mark in the sand. Decide you will move forward and leave what has happened behind. Move forward.

Some hints about your resolution:

• Be specific.
• Figure out how you will measure it.
• Make sure it is about you.
• Put it somewhere you will see it EVERY DAY!
• Stick to it. Make it a habit.

So, what are your resolutions? Leave me a response, because when we commit in public, we are far more likely to stick with it. Write it down here. Tell us what YOU will do to make your marriage better in the coming year!

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