Thanksgiving & Marriage

• November 23, 2006
• Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
• 1 comment

Here in the States, we commemorate a day of Thanksgiving. There are many who have political concerns with what this day celebrates. But for now, I want to side-step the debate. Instead, for me, Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for all that I have. It is a day to go against our natural instincts. Most people do not spend their days being thankful. We are much more likely to be self-critical, feel slighted, and seek ways of getting more and more.

Marriages tend to suffer when we spend our time thinking about what we don’t have. When we compare our spouse to someone else, or focus on the weaknesses of our relationship, or find all that makes us unhappy, we move in that direction.

There is an endless list of people to whom we can compare our spouse, and a nearly infinite list of weaknesses in a relationship. But for today, just today, change the flow. Focus on what you are thankful for (I will be doing the same). What about the relationship do you cherish? What about your spouse do you treasure? If your answer is “nothing,” you are not looking fairly or deeply.

When we focus on what we are thankful for, a magical thing happens — we find more things for which to be thankful! We turn off the critical switch in our brain for just an instant. For a split second, we exist in an area of appreciation. And our task is to expand that appreciation into more and longer moments.

Happy Thanksgiving wherever you are! I hope you find what is a treasure in your life, and cherish it today!

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rel=”tag”>Thanksgiving
rel=”tag”>marital advice
rel=”tag”>save marriage