Save Your Marriage Podcast – Page 51 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Frustrated and Ready To Give Up? Don’t!: #25, Save The Marriage Podcast

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg January 22, 2014 January 18, 2014

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 22, 2014

Just the other day, “Sue” wrote me to tell me she was ready to quit. She told me that her husband had been involved in an emotional affair, and she discovered the emails. When confronted, her husband told Sue that he did not love Sue and had been unhappy for years.

Sue decided to take matters in her own hands and save her marriage. She changed herself and worked on improving the connection with her husband. In fact, Sue went into “overdrive” in her efforts. Several weeks in, she was exhausted, hurt and scared. Her husband told her that he saw the efforts, but it was too late.

In her email, Sue told me she was ready to give up, but wanted to know what I thought. She asked, “do I have a snowball’s chance in hell of saving this?” Unfortunately, I don’t have a crystal ball.

But I do know this: Sue was at a very normal, very predictable stage in the process of a marriage crisis. In this audio, I will tell you the stages, and will also tell you one more thing: sometimes people give up just before a breakthrough. Sometimes, the resistance and frustration is highest just before a shift — but people either give up or try to force it.

Do you want to know the secret on what to do? Take a listen to the audio.

Then let me know what you think in the comments area below!

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Stop Trying To Convince!: Episode 24, Save The Marriage Podcast

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 15, 2014

Do you find yourself trying to convince your spouse to work on the relationship?

Do you try logic and rational facts to “help” your spouse see your point?

Do you find yourself begging and pleading, trying to get your spouse to change his or her mind?

Do you notice that these strategies fail? Do you notice that many times, when you try to convince, when you argue, beg and plead, that you actually lose ground?

Let’s talk about why this happens, why your spouse is resisting, and how you can do it differently.

Please listen to this week’s podcast and let me know what you think in the comments area below.

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“Why Should I Forgive?” — Podcast #23, Save The Marriage

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 8, 2014

In last week’s article on New Year resolutions to save your marriage, I started with “forgive more.” That struck a nerve. Some people loved it. . . but many sent me letters asking, “why should I have to forgive?” Ironically, my point was that forgiving frees the forgiver.

After the first couple of emails, I began to notice that perhaps I needed to clarify. So, I tackle forgiveness in-depth for this week’s podcast. In fact, I give you a 6 step process of how to forgive. But of course, this is only helpful if you think you want to forgive. I start the podcast by clarifying what I mean by forgiveness, and why I think it is so important. (Hint: not forgiving is like having a systemic infection that will eat away at the rest of your life.)

The catch is, as C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive.” When we have been injured, the idea of forgiving is not philosophical, and it can feel overwhelming.

Join me as we explore why to forgive and ways to forgive.

Let me know what you think in the comments below!

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Mastering the Holidays When Your Relationship Hurts: Save The Marriage Podcast #22

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

December 23, 2013

The Holidays are stressful. Even under the best of times, we can find ourselves stressed and down. But when a relationship is in trouble, the pressure can feel overwhelming.

But it doesn’t have to be. Don’t lose the Holidays. Take back the meaning of the holidays and discover your reserve of strength.

Regardless of what is happening in your world, this season of Holidays can be fulfilling and meaningful.

Join me for the Save The Marriage Podcast to learn how to recover your celebration and holiday.

Let me know in the comments area below how YOU are Holy-daying, in spite of life circumstances!

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Is There An Equation That Changes The Outcome?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

December 18, 2013

E + R = O

That is the equation — the equation that can help you transform your marriage.

Can it save your marriage? Perhaps. But that equation will certainly change YOU and the outcome.

On this week’s podcast, we explore how this equation can change your marriage and transform your life.

Find out why this equation is “no-fail,” and how that is crucial to your relationship, your life, and your well-being.

Leave a comment below and tell us how this equation changes your life!

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Is Fear Destroying Your Chances At Saving Your Marriage?: Save The Marriage Podcast, Ep. 20

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

December 11, 2013

Fear. It is a primal emotion. You can’t turn it off, and sometimes, it seems like you can’t even turn it down!

But letting your fear take control, that is a different matter. While you can’t stop fear, you can keep fear from ruining your chances of saving your marriage. You can learn how to keep fear from running your life.

Fear is NOT your friend, even if it pretends to be. Your response is up to you. What you don’t want to be is the “rabbit,” frozen in place, or the “swarm of birds,” running here and there but doing nothing good. Your fear response is not automatic.

In this podcast, we examine where fear comes from, focusing on the fear that comes from a marriage crisis.

But then we do more. I tell you exactly what you can do to make sure that your fear does not get in the way of your efforts to save your marriage. I will teach you how to respond to your fears and what to do to keep the fear to a minimum.

You can’t stop the fear, but you can change your response. If you change your response, you change the outcome.

Take a listen, then tell me what YOU do to handle your fears in the comments area below. Then, please share the podcast! Others need to know.

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So, You Had An Affair: How To Recover — A Save The Marriage Podcast Special Edition

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

December 6, 2013

Last week, I presented a special edition podcast on how to deal with an affair. It was mostly aimed for the person that suffered infidelity. But I had a number of people ask, “what if you are the one that committed the affair?” So, here is a podcast aimed at answering that. What do you do if you committed an affair?

People often wonder how to save a marriage after an affair. And the reality is that it is possible to move on after infidelity, but you do need some direction.

No punches pulled here. I tell you exactly what I think — straight talk about how to rebuild a marriage after an affair. What do you need to change, how do you need to act, what do you need to do? I lay it all out for you.

While I can’t tell you how long it takes to get over infidelity, I can tell you how to do it. But the grief and recovery process will depend on lots of factors. But if you are willing to move forward, it can be done. Marriages do survive infidelity — and can actually come out stronger!

A marriage can survive infidelity, and I can show you how to put the odds in your favor.

I will answer questions about whether to tell or not, how to set boundaries, raising your own standards, being transparent, and how to work on regaining trust and finding forgiveness.

HERE IS THE LINK to my book, Recovering From Infidelity

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Why Is Sex Such An Issue In Marriage?: Ep. 19, Save The Marriage Podcast

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

December 4, 2013

When people give their reasons for problems that lead to divorce, they list money, children, in-laws, religion and sex as the top 5. Money is the only reason listed consistently above sex.

Why is sex such a huge issue for couples? Is it really about sex, or is it something else?

We are surrounded by sexual images and messages about how we are “supposed to be” in regards to sex. Stereotypes can overwhelm and poison us. What can be a connector becomes a struggle.

In today’s podcast, we discuss why sex is such an issue in marriage — and more importantly, some ways of getting beyond the stuck point of sex in your marriage.

Take a listen and let me know what you think. Leave a comment below (and please share the podcast).

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Dealing with Emotional and Physical Affairs: A Special Save The Marriage Podcast

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 30, 2013

Is your marriage threatened by an emotional or physical affair?

Do you find yourself scared and unsure on how to deal with your spouse’s extramarital relationship?

Are you wondering if you can recover from infidelity in your relationship?

In this special audio podcast, I cover your plan for addressing the extra-marital relationship, whether it is physical or emotional.

Discover how to get beyond your spouse’s defenses. Find out whether or not to address the affair, whether or not to confront the other person, and whether or not to make an ultimatum.

I will also give you the 5 “don’ts” of dealing with an affair.

If infidelity, emotional or physical, is affecting your marriage, please listen to this audio.

Leave a comment below to let me know what you think. Leave any questions for future podcasts.

And HERE IS THE LINK to my book, Recovering From Infidelity

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Giving Thanks Can Transform Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast #18

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 26, 2013

They were bitter, angry, and pointing the finger at each other. Whenever I tried to get them to make a shift, they quickly reverted to blame.

I had to find a way to make a shift.

And then it occurred to me — one little exercise that transformed their marriage. Here is the interesting thing: either one could have done it and made a difference.

Since it is the week of Thanksgiving, I wanted to let you in on the secret that transformed their marriage, and may transform yours. It will certainly transform your life. But only if you give it a try.