Posts Tagged :

abuse and marriage

When Is It Too Toxic?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

When is a marriage too toxic to save?You probably know that I’m on the side of your marriage.  I’m all about saving a marriage.

But does that mean that EVERY marriage will be saved, or even should be saved?

No.

First, there are times when BOTH people want to leave the marriage.  At that point, there is nothing that WILL save the marriage.  There has to be energy from AT LEAST one person, in order for anything to change.

Second, there are times when the toxicity level is high, creating a toxic situation for the spouses.  In fact, there are 3 times when it MAY be too toxic.  And there is 1 time when it absolutely too toxic to work on the marriage.

Let me tell you 5 symptoms of elevated toxicity, 3 times you may need to step back, and 1 time you definitely need to step back from the marriage.

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Save The Marriage System

Is It Time To Throw In The Towel?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Is it time for me to throw in the towel?  Probably not.I get asked that question all the time:  “Is it time for me to throw in the towel?”

Almost always, it is NOT time to throw in the towel — unless, of course, you decide to.

That term, “throw in the towel,” comes from boxing.  The boxer (or his corner guy) could throw a towel into the ring and admit defeat.

First, please remember that your spouse is not your sparring partner or opponent.  Your spouse’s belief that the marriage can’t go on, that is your opponent.

Second, realize that in the “full contact” of saving a marriage, you can feel hurt and frustrated.  You can feel that you have hit a wall.  But that isn’t the reasons you should throw in the towel (unless, of course, you choose to do so).

Winston Churchill famously said, “Never, never, never, never give up.” (Actually, he said, “Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”)

There are times, though, when you do need to walk away, give up, throw in the towel.  In this podcast, I give you the times to do that, as well as the times you may choose to NOT throw in the towel.

Listen below.

RESOURCES:
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