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am I to blame

“Am I The Problem?”
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Am I the problem in my marriage? Did I cause the marital problems? Did I make the marriage crisis happen?"Maybe your spouse has been saying, “This is ALL YOUR FAULT!”  Or maybe it is just you… wondering… torturing yourself… about whether this marriage crisis is your fault.  Are you the problem?

Let me reassure you that you are not the first person to wonder that.  People search about that on my blog.  People write me to ask that same question.  Many people start our coaching sessions with the same question.

So, what is the truth? Are you the problem?  Did you cause the problem?  Does that even help the problem?

Many times, people like to look at one single point-in-time… frequently, a point that leaves them as NOT at fault.  They look for a time when they can accuse someone else, blame someone else, for the situation.

And rarely is that accurate, or even fair.

Still, we all like to point the blame elsewhere.

Let’s talk about this from a couple of perspectives.  One is kind of a higher level perspective, to question the concept of blame.  The other is a much more practical “what do I do?” perspective.  Both get us to a better place than simply asking, “Am I the problem? Am I to blame for our marriage crisis?”

Listen below as I tackle the question:  “Am I the Problem?”

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