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conflicted couple

Marriage Lie #3: Conflict Means Its Wrong
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

If you have conflict in your marriage, that indicates that the marriage is wrong.  Right?  Nope.  Just another lie about marriage that undermines your relationship.  Unless you know the truth.If you find yourself arguing and in conflict, that is an indication that something is wrong with your marriage, right?

Right?

No.  Not at all.  But it may be that your conflict resolution is a problem.  Just one that can be improved.  Unless, of course, you believe this lie and decide that nothing can be done because… you know… conflict.

That is the danger of this particular lie.  It causes people to give up, since there is conflict, rather than working through.

I don’t meet too many people that like conflict.  Most either avoid it or handle it poorly.  And many see conflict as a symptom that something is wrong with the relationship.

Fact is, conflict is an inevitable part of even the healthiest relationship.  In fact, the total lack of conflict may indicate just as much of a problem as too much conflict.  Put two people together who join their futures and there are going to be differences of opinion.  Different perspectives and different priorities.  And those differences must be addressed.

The question is really how you do conflict, not if you have conflict.  Does the conflict serve your relationship or sever your relationship?

Learn more about this lie of marriage in the Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Lie #1
Lie #2
Role of Conflict
Myths of Marriage
Save The Marriage System