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controlling marriage

When You Can’t Make Your Spouse Happy
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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You can’t make a spouse happy. It’s time to quit trying.Many a marriage crisis emerges when a spouse declares, “I’m not happy.”  It is really a statement about discontent with the relationship.

But many respond by assuming they now know what they need to do:  make their spouse happy.

Which sets in motion an impossible task:  making another human happy.

Why won’t it work?  Why can’t you make your spouse happy?

Because a) it isn’t your responsibility, and b) it isn’t in your control.

In this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast episode, I dive in on why your efforts to make your spouse happy will fail.  We discuss what you can control and what you can’t.  And I give you four places to shift your focus, so that you can make progress in your efforts.

Listen below to learn why you can’t make your spouse happy… and what to do, instead.

RELATED RESOURCES
Why Marriages Get into Trouble
3 C’s of Saving Your Marriage
What Happy Couples Know Series
The Difference Between Happy and Hurting
The Save The Marriage System

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Two Modes Killing Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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2 Modes Killing Marriage.Over and over, I see the same two “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness.

The hurt and pain often lead to anger and resentment down the road.  But it simply starts in innocence.  Most people don’t even know they are operating in these modes.

You may be making this mistake (or have made this mistake) and dropped into one or both modes.

The first mode is “Pause-Mode,” thinking that you can hit pause while life moves forward.  Parenting and career often are reasons to hit the pause button.  But there is no Pause Button in marriage.

The second mode is “Me-Mode.”  In marriage, you are building a WE.  But if you don’t know that, and don’t know what that is, you are likely to get caught in Me-Mode, to the detriment of the marriage.

Both modes develop innocently.  And either mode is capable of taking down a marriage. Don’t fall prey to these two modes.

Listen to this week’s podcast for more help.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Pause Button Marriage
Marriage Is About WE
How To Fix Your Marriage

 

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