fear of intimacy – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Why “Space” Is Hard

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By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 27, 2019

So many marital crises start with this phrase, “I’m not happy.” In panic mode, a spouse reacts and things get worse.

The next step is often, “I need space.” But that is even scarier! And in panic mode, a spouse reacts and things get worse.

Maybe an in-house separation. Maybe a full separation. Emotional separation becomes physical separation.

All from a spouse stating an emotional state of concern: “I’m not happy.”

One part of dealing with a marital crisis is dealing with “emotional space.” It is crucial to understand emotional space.

Today, I want to discuss why that emotional space is so difficult to manage. Why do people get sucked into taking actions that cause more issues? Why do people find it so hard to give a spouse that requested “space”?

We discuss why “space” is so hard on this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.

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Relationship Fears and Insecurities

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 12, 2018

Fears. They can certainly derail us humans!

A few episodes ago, I noted some fears that can sabotage your efforts to save your marriage.

But what about relationship fears? Just those basic fears and insecurities that we all carry with us in relationships?

Yep, we all have them. 2 basic fears. And those 2 fears? They pull against each other. One can trigger the other in couples. We all have both, but tend to have a tendency to one fear or the other. And when that fear is triggered, it often triggers the opposite fear in a spouse.

Which, by the way, increases the fear in the other.

Those two fears?

Fear of Intimacy
Fear of Abandonment

Let’s talk about what those fears are about, why we have them, what triggers them, and why it becomes such an issue in marriage.

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Immutable Law: We ALL Have Fears

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

August 10, 2016

The Immutable Laws of Marriage are violated at your own peril. This week, it is not so much a law you might violate, as much as it is a law you need to know.

Here it is: We ALL have fears that we bring into a marriage. Fears that really do not affect many other relationships. They are deeply rooted and painful when hit — and you WILL hit them. Over and over again.

That is just the nature of life and these fears.

In particular, we have two relational fears:

The Fear Of Intimacy
The Fear of Abandonment

These fears play off of each other, compound each other, and complicate each other. Unless, of course, you understand what these fears are about, why they are there, and how to not let them dominate your relationship.

Learn how to avoid the sabotage of these fears in this week’s podcast. Hit “PLAY” below.

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE
#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)

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How You Hide and How To Show Up In Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 6, 2013

Fear, resentment, habit. All reasons why we hide. And we hide more the more important the relationship. The intimacy may scare us, the scars may hide us.

But if we want to heal a relationship, especially a marriage, we HAVE to show up!

In this week’s podcast, I examine the reasons we hide, and how to change this.

Discover the 6 Steps To Showing Up.

Follow the 4 P’s of Showing Up and you will find deeper connection than you believed possible.

Listen and then comment below.

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How Fear Is Destroying Your Efforts and 4 Ways To Reverse It: Save The Marriage Podcast

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

October 17, 2013

Fear. It is the enemy of your efforts to save your marriage. We all have fear. But how much does fear get in the way?

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, we explore how your fear of abandonment can destroy and undermine your efforts.

But more importantly, we explore some ways to make progress, in spite of the fear.

Take a listen, then leave a comment below!

And remember to grab my latest book, available now for Kindle. Grab It Here.

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