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frustrated

Is It Time To Throw In The Towel?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Is it time for me to throw in the towel? Probably not.I get asked that question all the time:  “Is it time for me to throw in the towel?”

Almost always, it is NOT time to throw in the towel — unless, of course, you decide to.

That term, “throw in the towel,” comes from boxing.  The boxer (or his corner guy) could throw a towel into the ring and admit defeat.

First, please remember that your spouse is not your sparring partner or opponent.  Your spouse’s belief that the marriage can’t go on, that is your opponent.

Second, realize that in the “full contact” of saving a marriage, you can feel hurt and frustrated.  You can feel that you have hit a wall.  But that isn’t the reasons you should throw in the towel (unless, of course, you choose to do so).

Winston Churchill famously said, “Never, never, never, never give up.” (Actually, he said, “Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”)

There are times, though, when you do need to walk away, give up, throw in the towel.  In this podcast, I give you the times to do that, as well as the times you may choose to NOT throw in the towel.

Listen below.

RESOURCES:
Save The Marriage System
Coaching Resources

 

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Frustrated and Ready To Give Up? Don’t!: #25, Save The Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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how to save your marriage when you are frustrated and want to give up.Just the other day, “Sue” wrote me to tell me she was ready to quit.  She told me that her husband had been involved in an emotional affair, and she discovered the emails.  When confronted, her husband told Sue that he did not love Sue and had been unhappy for years.

Sue decided to take matters in her own hands and save her marriage.  She changed herself and worked on improving the connection with her husband.  In fact, Sue went into “overdrive” in her efforts.  Several weeks in, she was exhausted, hurt and scared.  Her husband told her that he saw the efforts, but it was too late.

In her email, Sue told me she was ready to give up, but wanted to know what I thought.  She asked, “do I have a snowball’s chance in hell of saving this?”  Unfortunately, I don’t have a crystal ball.

But I do know this:  Sue was at a very normal, very predictable stage in the process of a marriage crisis.  In this audio, I will tell you the stages, and will also tell you one more thing:  sometimes people give up just before a breakthrough.  Sometimes, the resistance and frustration is highest just before a shift — but people either give up or try to force it.

Do you want to know the secret on what to do?  Take a listen to the audio.

Then let me know what you think in the comments area below!

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