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give up on marriage

“Why Should I Try? Don’t Tell Me What To Do!”
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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"You can't tell me what to do!" Correct. But IF you want to work on your marriage, I can show you how. Up to you.Jared was a bit more pointed in his question.  But to be fair, I HAVE been asking for people to submit questions.  And he did.

He told me straight up, “You tell me to connect with my spouse.  Well, I’ve been trying to do that.  If I’ve been trying and it isn’t working, what are you gonna teach me that will make a difference?”

Fair question.

So I responded to it in this episode of the podcast.

Jared continues on about my “Easy” approach to saving a marriage.  So, just to clarify here and in my podcast, I never said “Easy.”  I did say “Simple.”  Many things are simple, but not easy.  Never confuse the two.  My attempt is to simplify the process, so that you do not get overwhelmed.  This is not some “self-working, no effort necessary” approach.  Anyone who claims to have that is simply lying.

On the other hand, I think I can clarify and simplify the process, so that you know exactly what to do.

But I tell you why in the podcast.

And no, Jared, you don not “have” to do anything.  But if you want to do something to work on your marriage, I am here to help.  So, let’s talk.  First, listen to the episode below for my response to your question.

RELATED RESOURCES
What Swiss Cheese Has To Do With Your Marriage
Your Efforts Matter
Your WHY of Saving Your Marriage
When To Throw In The Towel
Simple, not Easy
The Save The Marriage System

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“How Long?” Trust, Trauma, and Towels
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How long does it take to recover from broken trust? How long before you throw in the towel?I’m still answering your questions!  If you have a question you want me to cover on the podcast, just SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE.

Today, we cover “time.”  Or more specifically, “How Long?”  The questions come from 2 listeners, “B” and “J.”

B asked about how long it takes to recover from broken trust.  He follows up with wondering about PTSD symptoms and breaking trust.  If your relationship suffers from broken trust, I cover the issue of healing time… and what you can do about that time.

I also go into some discussion about trust and trauma, to make sure you understand how that might affect your relationship.

And J is interested in how long to keep up the efforts before you “throw in the towel.”  J says that they are in a “lock.”  I disagree, and I cover how to think through the stuck spot… what it means, why you might be wrong, and how to keep on moving forward.

Trauma, Time, and Towels.  I cover them in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.  Don’t miss it!  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
What You CAN Control
Trust and Marriage
Importance of Apology
Showing Up
Save The Marriage System
Books by Lee

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Is It Time To Throw In The Towel?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Is it time for me to throw in the towel? Probably not.I get asked that question all the time:  “Is it time for me to throw in the towel?”

Almost always, it is NOT time to throw in the towel — unless, of course, you decide to.

That term, “throw in the towel,” comes from boxing.  The boxer (or his corner guy) could throw a towel into the ring and admit defeat.

First, please remember that your spouse is not your sparring partner or opponent.  Your spouse’s belief that the marriage can’t go on, that is your opponent.

Second, realize that in the “full contact” of saving a marriage, you can feel hurt and frustrated.  You can feel that you have hit a wall.  But that isn’t the reasons you should throw in the towel (unless, of course, you choose to do so).

Winston Churchill famously said, “Never, never, never, never give up.” (Actually, he said, “Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”)

There are times, though, when you do need to walk away, give up, throw in the towel.  In this podcast, I give you the times to do that, as well as the times you may choose to NOT throw in the towel.

Listen below.

RESOURCES:
Save The Marriage System
Coaching Resources

 

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