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Posts Tagged :

how do I get my spouse to do something

Caught In Control
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Caught In Control: Control and marriage.Pretty much every day, I hear from someone telling me about a controlling marriage situation.  Either they are controlling or they are being controlled.  Either way, the underlying dynamics are the same.

Control is a hallmark of dysfunctional relationships.  It takes two to play the game, though — the controller and the controlled.

This week, I highlight this particular dysfunction and provide a way through, whether you are controlling or being controlled.

Is your marriage caught in control?  Are you ready to break the pattern and find a healthy way of relating?  Listen to this week’s podcast for help.

RELATED RESOURCES:
What A Marriage SHOULD Be About
Communication Is Not The Issue
Save The Marriage System

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Why Getting A Spouse To Agree Is Dangerous
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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whygettingspouseagreedangerousI know. You want to convince your spouse to see things your way.  So, you set out to “get” your spouse to agree with you.

…And you have now begun walking down a very dangerous path.

(I bet you didn’t think so, did you?)

Almost always, trying to get your spouse to agree will backfire — and even make things worse.  Sometimes, much worse.

Can I share with you why this can be so dangerous and how to avoid this problem?  This is something you want to fully understand.

(If you want a better way, GRAB THIS and get started.)

 

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3rd Biggest Mistake People Make
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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The 3rd biggest mistake people make, by trying to "get" a spouse to do something. Don't do it. Avoid this mistake when you are trying to save your marriage.There are lots of mistakes people make in their efforts to save their marriage.   This particular mistake is what I consider to be the 3rd biggest.  I hear it in the questions people send me every single week.

In fact, I hear this mistake probably 3 or more times each day.  And here is the sad thing:  the mistake is made with all the best of intentions. . . and all the worst of results.

Like all mistakes, it is avoidable.  (If something is unavoidable, it can’t be a mistake; a mistake always has an alternative that could avoid the mistake.)

I am betting you have made this mistake.  (I have.)  My hope is that, once I point it out, it will be so obvious that you will not repeat it.

RELATED RESOURCES:
3 Problems With Marital Therapy
Avoid The 3 A’s
Separation:  Will It Help?
Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Believe You Will Change
“I’ve Changed” and 3 Other Things NOT To Say
Grab the Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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