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how to connect with spouse

You HAVE To SHOW UP!: Immutable Law of Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Immutable Law of Marriage: You Have To Show Up!The body is there, but nobody’s home.  That would describe many people when their spouse is talking.  Or even when they are making love.

The shell is there.  The person?  Not so much.  They are failing to “Show Up.”  And they are violating an Immutable Law of Marriage.  If you keep failing to show up, eventually, there will be no relationship to show up for!

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who forgot to show up?  That hollow look, the lack of emotional connection, those missed facts.  It doesn’t feel too good, does it?

Which raises the question:  How often do WE fail to Show Up?  I’m afraid I miss it more than I want.  But can we show up MORE?

Absolutely.

Let’s talk about how.

And if you have missed the other episodes from the Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series, here they are:

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE
#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)
#3 We ALL Have Fear
#4 There Is NO Pause
#5 Connection Is The Lifeblood
#6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress
#7 Love Is What You Do
#8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse

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Confusion or Connection?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Confusion or connection?Last week, on four separate coaching calls, I listened as a client said, “I’m confused.”  The client would then describe some behavior from a spouse that was causing my client to feel confused.  Maybe they had a good interaction, but an hour later, things went south.  Or perhaps they had a warm conversation before bed.  But in the morning, the chill had returned.  Or maybe the spouse was talking about working on things, only to say a day or so later, “This just won’t work.”

Confusion.

Understandable, right?  Understandable, but not helpful.

Generally, once someone is confused, they are far less effective in connecting.  It seems it is a choice between confusion and connection.

Don’t be confused.  That is not where you want to focus your energy.  Learn why to not focus there, and how to re-focus.

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