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how to set boundaries

Disrespect and Boundaries
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Disrespect, boundaries, marriage, and how you set boundaries with a spouse.“A” has been trying to set boundaries with her husband.  Trying to get the treatment she deserves.  Trying to get the relationship to a healthy spot.

But then, her spouse throws a little shade her way… rolling eyes, using a demeaning tone.  What should she do to set a boundary on that?, she asks.

During the last few episodes of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I’ve been tackling your questions — questions submitted by listeners.  (If you have a question for consideration, email it to me HERE.)

In this case, A has a good hold on what to do when, say, her spouse raises his voice or calls her names.  But what about those less-clear actions — using a “you’re so stupid” tone (note that this requires you to read a tone… not always a good thing to try).

Sometimes, boundaries are clear.  You know how to set them.  I even have a whole chapter on it in the primary module of Save The Marriage System.

But when it is more subtle… a little harder to pin down.  And a little harder to call someone on.  What about that?

I cover it in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries and Control
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Conflict
Save The Marriage System

 

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How Boundaries Transform Any Relationship (including a marriage)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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5 ways boundaries help your marriage, make relationships easier, and allow you to grow.Boundaries may be a new concept for you.  Or you may already be working on setting boundaries for you and your marriage (I discuss it at length in my Save The Marriage System).

I believe that boundaries are foundational to having a thriving life.  Add in standards, mix a little “make an impact,” and you have an amazing life.

Boundaries are a “No” to how you are treated.  They set your limits of acceptable behavior.  Think of it as a fence in your backyard, marking your “territory.”  People in your fence are expected to be respectful and nice.

But here is something I have noticed:  many people treat boundaries like a weapon.  When upset, they take them out and beat someone back.  While it is important to set a boundary in the face of mistreatment, I would suggest that boundaries can be softer.  They can set the stage for a healthy relationship, drama-free and loving.

This week, I have the opportunity of discussing this with one of my top coaches, Terri Hase.  Listen in as Terri and I discuss 5 ways boundaries can transform your relationships — including your marriage.

(If you want some more training on boundaries, click here and here.)

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