marriage lie – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Marriage Lie #5: Your Spouse Should Make You Happy

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg November 25, 2020 November 24, 2020

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 25, 2020

You were probably very happy when you got married. You believed the happiness would always be there. And now, your spouse is saying, “I’m not happy.” Embedded in that seems to be some idea that you are the cause of it. That you failed at keeping your spouse happy.

No surprise. Many people fall for this lie. They don’t know it is a lie. They believe it. That a spouse should make you happy.

Somehow, it is in the job description for a spouse. They should make you happy.

There is only one (little) problem with this… it is impossible!

You can’t make your spouse happy. And your spouse can’t make you happy.

Sure, you can certainly make each other miserable. But happy? Nope. Not possible.

Even if you thought you made each other happy before. Sure, you may have been happy. And your relationship may have seemed to be a source of joy. But your spouse couldn’t and didn’t make you happy (nor could/did you make your spouse happy).

It is an impossibility. But it is one of the major lies people believe about marriage.

Which is why people are in trouble when they realize that a spouse is not making them happy. Instead of seeing it for what it is… a lie… they think it is a failure of the spouse — even of the marriage! Proof that the marriage is headed for failure.

Except, it was all a lie. Not the marriage! The belief that a spouse would make you happy (and vice versa).

Don’t believe the lie! Learn the truth in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.

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Marriage Lie #4: Marriage is 50 / 50

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 18, 2020

Equal partnership. That is what a marriage is about, when it is healthy. Right?

Right??

Nope. Just another marriage lie.

Oh, not on purpose! Nope, these marriage lies are not intentional. Just not true. Unfortunately, as people repeat them, they believe them. And those beliefs have consequence. They can eat away at the foundations of a marriage, simply because the lie is believed. So, actions are taken on a false belief.

For example, with this lie… if you believe that marriage is 50/50, an equal partnership… and you decide your spouse is not putting in their 50, then you have reason for upset. Reason for demands. Reason for feeling taken advantage of.

Here is the TL;DR: marriage is NOT 50/50. It is all in/all in.

But to understand more about why marriage is not 50/50… and to discover what it really is… and how that changes things, listen to the episode below.

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