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Posts Tagged :

my spouse won’t go to therapy

Am I Against Therapy?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Am I against marital therapy, therapists, and counseling?I spent way more time in school than I would like.  To be honest, I never enjoyed school.  Not when I was a kid.  Not in high school.  Not in college.  And not in 3 rounds of grad school (2 Master’s and 1 Ph.D.).

But I spent that time in school because I had a goal.  To be a therapist.  So, I did extensive training, focusing on marriage and family therapy.

So why am I critical of therapy?

Partly because I have seen it from the inside.  Partly because I have seen the outcome studies of therapy — particularly marital therapy.

Which raises the question:  am I opposed to therapy?

The answer:  not in theory.  And not even in some specifics.

When couples are ready to make changes, and when they work with a therapist who is specifically trained in marriage and family therapy theory, and who is skilled… the outcome can be excellent.

I know many couples who have benefitted.  And I know some pretty amazing therapists.

But overall, the stats are not good.  At least, in terms of saving marriages.  1/2 of all marriages that get therapy end up divorced — the same stat that applies to the general population.

There are some specific reasons why therapy often falls short.  Some have to do with therapy/therapist.  Some have to do with clients/couples.

I discuss why there are issues in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
How To NOT Save Your Marriage
Problems with Therapy
What Your Therapist WON’T Tell You
How to Guarantee Therapy FAILS

If you have tried therapy and it didn’t work, or if you don’t want to do therapy, please grab my Save The Marriage System

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Top 10 Myths of Marital Therapy
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Top 10 myths of marital therapy.“If I could just get her to go to marriage therapy with me,” he told me, “I know we could turn this around.”

Statistically speaking, this is likely NOT the case.  Just one myth about marital therapy.

In fact, the statistics are pretty consistent:  marital therapy is, more often than not, unhelpful.

Also, did you know that your marriage therapist may not have any special training in marital therapy?  The therapist may be well trained as a therapist, but not necessarily as a marriage therapist.  Does that matter?  YES.  Another myth, though, about marital therapy.

Can I share my other myths with you?  Like why dragging a spouse into therapy is likely NOT helpful, and more than likely counter-productive.  And no, the therapist does not have a secret formula to change your spouse’s mind.

This week, I share my top 10 myths about marital therapy.  What about you?  What is your experience of therapy like?

 

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