pause button marriage – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Can a Marriage Turn Around Quickly?

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg June 29, 2022 June 28, 2022

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 29, 2022

Lots of people have asked me how long it takes for a marriage crisis to turn around… for the marriage to start heading in the RIGHT direction. Does it take days? Weeks?? Years???

I often tell them that marriages in crisis can often turn around amazingly fast.

That doesn’t mean YOUR marriage will. But it often does happen.

Why is it that a marriage can feel like it is on the edge of collapse, and then seemingly come back to life overnight?

It all has to do with a basic human need that we all have. It is the central part of a marriage, and goes so deep that when it is missing, it is painful. When it is restored (the right way), it is immediately healing. Listen below for why marriage turn quickly (and why the don’t).

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“What IS Connection??” – Listener Question

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 12, 2019

Do you have a question you want answered about marriage, marital problems, relationship issues, and how to save your marriage? Send an email and ask your question. If it is something that would benefit others, I will answer it in a future podcast episode!

If you are a regular listener of the Save The Marriage Podcast, you know how often I discuss “connection,” the importance of it and the dangers of disconnection. But do you know what I mean when I say, “connection”?

Chad didn’t. So, he asked.

Sometimes, we can get pretty far down the path on a plan, but forget the basics, the fundamentals.

And connection is an absolutely crucial fundamental. Broken marriages are disconnected marriages. Healthy marriages are connected. The disconnection is the path to failure. And… no surprise… connection is the path to health and healing.

In our disconnected world, in our busy world, connection is often lost. Not on purpose, but lost nonetheless. And while it may have seemed effortless in the beginning, if you don’t understand what you are trying to do, you can get lost and confused.

In this episode of the podcast, I answer Chad’s question: “What IS connection??” (It just might answer your question, too.)

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Why Pause Is A Problem

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 5, 2019

The Pause Button. You didn’t know you hit it. But you probably did.

“We’ll get back to each other after the kids/ promotion/ travels/ hobbies/ events/ friends… (well, you get the idea).”

AFTER life, we will get back to love.

There is only one problem. Relationships are either growing or receding, strengthening or weakening.

There IS no pause.

When you hit the Pause-Button, you are… even without realizing it… choosing the path of disconnection.

Then, when you go to UN-pause, you look at each other, strangers. Disconnected.

In this episode of the podcast, I tell you why pause is such a problem, and point you to a path back.

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Two Modes Killing Your Marriage

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 29, 2017

Over and over, I see the same two “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness.

The hurt and pain often lead to anger and resentment down the road. But it simply starts in innocence. Most people don’t even know they are operating in these modes.

You may be making this mistake (or have made this mistake) and dropped into one or both modes.

The first mode is “Pause-Mode,” thinking that you can hit pause while life moves forward. Parenting and career often are reasons to hit the pause button. But there is no Pause Button in marriage.

The second mode is “Me-Mode.” In marriage, you are building a WE. But if you don’t know that, and don’t know what that is, you are likely to get caught in Me-Mode, to the detriment of the marriage.

Both modes develop innocently. And either mode is capable of taking down a marriage. Don’t fall prey to these two modes.

Listen to this week’s podcast for more help.

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