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Summer: The Death Season For Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Here in the States, it is Memorial Day. For some people, this is a remembrance for those who gave their lives in war.

But for most folks, it simply marks the beginning of the summer season. Ah, the livin’ is easy. . . at least according to the songs.

School is out in most places, and the atmosphere just takes on a little more relaxed pace. People are out playing ball, taking a walk, swinging on the front porch, taking a vacation. Things just seem to slow down.

For me, summer marks a shift in marriages. Many marriages will end this season. Summer brings with it a break in the routine, and for many people, a transition point in marriage. Some people have been silently making plans. Other times, the couple have been marking the days until summer to finally take action.

The ending dates are predictable in lots of cases: just after the holidays, after an important date (birthdays), before important dates (anniversaries), and summertime. This is especially true when kids are involved. The couple reasons that there are several months for everyone to adjust.

Bad news: there is never a good time to end a relationship. Rationalize it all you want, but there is never a good way, never a good time, and never a least-damaging way.

My hope is that people will take the summer and work on their relationships. The slowdown means there are less activities that are scheduled. Spend some time together. Play together as a family. Choose to forgive and move ahead. Keep the marriage together!

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., is the author of the bestselling relationship ebook, Save The Marriage. It is available at http://www.savethemarriage.com .
Resolutions for Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

New Year’s Day has now passed. The frantic pace of the holidays is behind us. And life is beginning to return to normal. Perhaps you made some resolutions for the new year. Some may have been made in the rush of a New Year’s Eve party.

Take a moment to think about resolutions you might want to make for your marriage. I think of resolutions as an opportunity to be intentional about things. Many make intentionality a magical, mystical transformation. But I see it much more simply. When you decide to be intentional, you work toward that goal.

For example, when I decided to write a book, I became intentional about it. I began to focus my life around that goal. When I had some time, I chose not to watch TV, read a book, or divert myself in some other way. Instead, I took the time to write my book. In that way, my intention of writing a book became an actuality. The intention led to action.

When you become intentional about making some changes in your marriage, you begin to reorganize your life around that resolution. This can lead to great changes.

But when you consider the resolutions, don’t aim for too many shifts. Aim for 1, 2 and no more than 3 items to focus your attention upon. Make sure they are items you can accomplish and act upon. But don’t start with large items.

Small shifts can lead to bigger shifts. It is the ripple effect, like throwing a rock into a pond. Several years back, I found myself out of shape and feeling bad. I made a decision to jog a little. When I did that, the ripples began. When I chose to eat, I was a little more careful, not wanting to ruin my jogging effort. As I ate better, I became aware of how many soft drinks I was drinking, and I cut back on that. Then, I realized how much caffeine I was drinking, so I changed that. By then, I was up to running more. The ripple effect continued. Last year, I ran a trail marathon, all the ripple effect of jogging a little!

So, make a resolution to change your marriage. Become intentional about making your marriage better, and find 1 to 3 specific items you can do to make a difference, then put your mind to it!

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More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., is the author of the bestselling relationship ebook, Save The Marriage. It is available at http://www.savethemarriage.com .
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