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save the marriage podcast

What Happy Couples Do Differently – Series
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Every marriage has problems.  Every single one.

But about 50% figure out a way to stay together, even when there are problems.

And then there are those happy couples.  The ones who have it dialed in, figured out, and are happy.

Here’s the thing:  success always leaves a trail.  If you want to move to that place, to have a marriage that is happy and rewarding, you can learn for those that made it.

In the What Happy Couples Do Differently series, I discuss 11 things that happy couples know and do differently.

Listen to the episodes below to follow the trail to a happy marriage:

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Conflict

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Connection

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Companionship

If you are ready to make a shift and become a happy couple, too, it is time to grab my Save The Marriage System.  Discover what happened, how to shift, and how to build a marriage you BOTH will treasure and protect.  Become a Happy Couple!

CLICK HERE TO GRAB THE SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM

4 Fears That Halt Your Efforts… And Don’t Need To
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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4 fears that stop your efforts to save your marriage... but don't have to!You’ve decided to save your marriage. You start the process, maybe even make some progress.

Then, BAM!  You hit a wall.

A wall of fear.  Fears that sabotage your efforts, pull you back from your plan, get you to give up.

But those fears do not have to be the end of your efforts.  In fact, those fears need not do anything to your efforts.  Fears and actions are not the same.  Fears are fears.  Whenever we base our actions on fears, we give them too much power.

When you are working on saving a marriage, there are 4 fears that strike many people… and they may just hit you! And then, you have to decide whether the fears stop your efforts or if they are just “background noise.”

Which will they be for you?

Listen to the podcast episode below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Relationship Fears
3 C’s of Saving A Marriage
Why Save It?
Save The Marriage System

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“What If I CAN’T Save It?” — Your Fears Addressed
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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"What If I can't save my marriage?"Two phone calls the same day.  Both with the same question:  “What if I CAN’T save my marriage?”  One had been working at it for awhile.  The other hadn’t started (and was trying to decide whether to even start).

It’s a common question that gets asked at 3 different times in the process.  Each has a different meaning.  All share a fear.

That fear can keep you from taking action, talk you into giving up, or serve to inform you.

This week, I want to take on the question, “What if I can’t save it?”, because not every marriage can be saved.  (But NONE will be saved without action.)

Don’t let the question trip you up.  Understand what’s behind it.  And learn my answer to the question.

Listen below. . .

(And if you are ready to get started, GRAB MY SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM HERE.)

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Don’t Get Caught In The FOF Trap!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Avoid the FOF Trap -- Fear of Failure!There is a trap waiting. It springs on you, sometimes even before you get started with saving your marriage. That same trap is waiting for you at every point of the process. You can easily get stuck in it.

What’s the trap? I call it the FOF Trap — Fear of Failure Trap.

We humans have a disproportionate fear of failure that we can either set aside or allow to trap us.

How many actions and options have you missed because you were afraid it might not work out? How many opportunities pass us all by because we are afraid that it we might fail? Oddly, when we allow FOF to dominate, we absolutely fail and miss out.

Don’t let this trap keep you from restoring your relationship. Decide there is another option. Move boldly toward your efforts.

Listen to this week’s podcast to find out how to avoid the FOF Trap.

(Ready to move forward?  Grab the Save The Marriage System.)

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The War In Your Brain Is Killing Your Marriage!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Don't let the argument in your head trip you up!There is a war going on.  It isn’t between you and your spouse.

It is right between your ears!  Your brain is at war with itself.

Well, to be more accurate, there are two parts of your brain that are constantly at odds with each other, both looking for different things.

And the part of your brain we humans are most proud of — that rational, reasonable, logical part — is trying to play referee. . . but not very effectively!

Your lizard brain and your herd brain try to hijack you.  Each has a different desire, a different need.  And both can end up tripping you up. . . unless you understand the roles of each.  And until you learn to listen to each one.

Learn more about how the war in your head can kill your marriage — and what to do about it!

 

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Treat Your Marriage Like A Baby!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Treat your marriage like a baby!Sometimes, it is helpful to have a mental image or idea in mind, to help you navigate spaces.

Marriage is an idea you don’t fully understand until you are in it.

Unfortunately, there is plenty of time to make mistakes, all while trying to figure it out.

We forget that training for marriage only happens “on the job.”  Which is why it shouldn’t be a surprise that so many people feel hurt and neglected in their relationships.

So, in this week’s podcast, I want to provide an image and consider the implications.

What if you treated your marriage (not your spouse, but the relationship) like a baby?  What would that change?  (An astute reader made this observation, and I thought it was powerful.  Powerful enough to share.)

Listen and let me know what you think!

(Ready to learn more about caring for your marriage and healing it?  Grab my Save The Marriage System HERE.)

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5 Rules For Apologizing: #26 Save The Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How To Save Your Marriage and ApologizeApologies.  We all do it — but do we do it right?

I remember being held by the scruff of my neck, forced to apologize to my brother.  I was neither apologetic nor conciliatory.  I was, however, captive.  So I apologized.

It was a good idea.  It is just that my heart wasn’t in it.

And sometimes, even when we mean it, we mess it up, just because of how we do an apology.

In this week’s podcast, we take a look at apologies and how to offer one.  This is a good follow up to the podcast on forgiveness.

Let me propose 5 rules for giving an apology and why an apology is so important.

What rules would you add?  What points did I miss?  Please leave a comment below.

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Stop Trying To Convince!: Episode 24, Save The Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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save your marriage, no begging, pleading, convincingDo you find yourself trying to convince your spouse to work on the relationship?

Do you try logic and rational facts to “help” your spouse see your point?

Do you find yourself begging and pleading, trying to get your spouse to change his or her mind?

Do you notice that these strategies fail?  Do you notice that many times, when you try to convince, when you argue, beg and plead, that you actually lose ground?

Let’s talk about why this happens, why your spouse is resisting, and how you can do it differently.

Please listen to this week’s podcast and let me know what you think in the comments area below.

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Is There An Equation That Changes The Outcome?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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how to save your marriage with an equationE + R = O

That is the equation — the equation that can help you transform your marriage.

Can it save your marriage?  Perhaps.  But that equation will certainly change YOU and the outcome.

On this week’s podcast, we explore how this equation can change your marriage and transform your life.

Find out why this equation is “no-fail,” and how that is crucial to your relationship, your life, and your well-being.

Leave a comment below and tell us how this equation changes your life!

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Dealing with Emotional and Physical Affairs: A Special Save The Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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how to save your marriage from an affairIs your marriage threatened by an emotional or physical affair?

Do you find yourself scared and unsure on how to deal with your spouse’s extramarital relationship?

Are you wondering if you can recover from infidelity in your relationship?

In this special audio podcast, I cover your plan for addressing the extra-marital relationship, whether it is physical or emotional.

Discover how to get beyond your spouse’s defenses.  Find out whether or not to address the affair, whether or not to confront the other person, and whether or not to make an ultimatum.

I will also give you the 5 “don’ts” of dealing with an affair.

If infidelity, emotional or physical, is affecting your marriage, please listen to this audio.

Leave a comment below to let me know what you think.  Leave any questions for future podcasts.

And HERE IS THE LINK to my book, Recovering From Infidelity

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